I feel like I’ve already failed being a mother

Our daughter is 5 months along and we have to go to a specialist to check on her heart. I’m very scared of the news I’m going to revive and I asked my mother to come to the scan with us as she and my partner are my main support system. I let my partner know and he said I should have asked first. It just confuses me having no ability to say what I want without his permission it feels like he cannot trust me to take care of our LG. Honestly has me thinking I shouldn’t because rn she is supposed to be the safest and now something really wrong could be happening. I’ve had panic attacks, and had a hard time quitting nicotine and weed for like2.5 months. And just know my partner doesn’t want me making small decisions without asking first really makes me feel like I shouldn’t be the one doing this. But Ik I have to now and I’m struggling so hard going through so many changes rn mentally physically medically socially while he still gets the chance to “do thing he won’t be able to do before baby is here” doesn’t have to quit medicine he takes for his mental health the side effects that come with that and I’m in sm pain I can’t always bend over to get something. I’m hurt so bad and he only says “sorry you feel that way but I will be by ur side to help every step”. I just feel like I should just try and be happy to enjoy these next couple of months and give her to him to just disappear to deal with ppd on my own and not mess her up more than I already have.