How to cope with tantrums?
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-Brat Busters Parenting - quite no nonsense but still very engaged in play and connection -Dr Becky at Good Inside -Dr Martha Psychologist (how to be the grown up book) -No such things as naughty & the whole brain child (books) -Best Behaviour Series (kids books on no hitting, biting etc.) None of this advice will necessarily help avoid it but there is some good info. on ways to manage/handle. And you’ll cherry pick what you think is going to help most/work. Of course you are human and it will be testing. Try to get a break throughout the week for yourself. The other helpful thing is to try and limit no’s and focus on saying what you want them to do and save no/stop for when it’s really needed. Don’t repeat yourself, say it twice and then do it for them. Offer choices but not on things that have to happen, so we are changing your nappy now, do you want to read a book or sing a song. Gives them a sense of some control but the fact is the nappy change is happening.
Not sure if any of that is helpful - in practice is always harder than in theory. But definitely some of those resources I have found helpful! And when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, put on music and dance or be silly or jump around on the spot, this helps our own nervous systems. Taylor Swift - Shake it off is a cliche but go to for me.
@Lauren thank you for replying, that's been so helpful. I read the whole brain child when I was pregnant but will give it another read. I am chronically saying 'no' and 'stop' out of exasperation, so if i do one thing different tomorrow, it'll be to not say either of those words. I also really like the silly dancing idea, I can see that working well for us both to break the tension. It's probably not helping my period is late and I've had a chronic cough for 3 weeks. Thanks pu for being kind 🙂
Distract distract distract and cuddle. I’m finding it quite tough but have to remind myself there’s no reasoning yet and it’s all normal and part of their development. Doesn’t make it any easier though. We got this!
Sorry to hear this. It’s not your fault! This is developmentally normal, though kids will experience tantrums on varying levels. Staying calm is part of it but you also need to reinforce boundaries. Little toddlers feel out of control as developing as such a rapid rate and the world feels scary and so many big emotions are flooding through. They are testing you big time (not on purpose). They want to know am I in charge or you and you need to remind them calmly & firmly that it’s you and they want to know you will be there even at their worst. For example slapping in the face is not ok, so that’s a firm no, we don’t hit faces but not said in a big over reacting way because that invites them to do it again. If they go to again, gently stop their hand and say no and then stop playing or put them down or strap into the pram no matter how hard they fight. There are lots of approaches to this and you will need to find what works best for you & your little one. Some resources I like are…