Useless grandparents

Why are my baby’s grandparents a bit useless? I hear stories about people being able to leave their babies with their grandparents, but both sets of my baby’s grandparents just don’t seem to want to do any babysitting, whether that’s offering to take her for a few hours so we can have some time alone, or even offering to hold her over lunchtime so we can eat with both hands! My parents will visit every two weeks for exactly one wake window and one feed and then they’ll go. My in-laws will visit every single week (which I’m getting sick of now) and stay for hours, but they don’t offer to do anything with the baby…they’ll hold her if we hand her over, but as soon as she’s crying she gets handed back. Tonight we’re going to the theatre and my in-laws are going to take care of the baby literally in the theatre foyer for the 1.5 hours of the show, which I think they can handle, but we went for lunch with them today (already seeing them too much this week) and baby got a bit unsettled and at no point did they step in. When asked if they wanted to try and soothe her, we were told “I’ll do it tonight when I have to”. Where is my helpful village I was promised? 🙃

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Idk if yours were the same but it's funny how parents will pressure you to have grandchildren then won't take an active role? Lol

Mine on either side don’t bother can go months without seeing my children. Last time my 7 month old seen any of them she just cried at them

Maybe they just aren’t confident with babies? I get a lot more help with my little girl now that she’s 4 and easier to take care of.

All grandparents are different, how old is the baby? My parents weren't really hands on until the baby got a bit older and is a little more independent, they might just want you to either get your parenting flow together naturally without interrupting you too much or being too handsonsey in a way. Some first time parents hate too much advice or interference from mum and dad, and I guess they maybe respecting your boundaries too but also being sensible about what they can manage with.

@Paige this is true for my in-laws for sure, but not my mum. I guess it just annoys me how they want to come round to see the baby but don’t actually do anything to help (baby or otherwise…they could, for example, make their own tea rather than asking me to make one)

@Michelle she is young, she’s only 10 weeks. So yeah, yours is a fantastic way of looking at it and one that I will try to keep in mind when I get annoyed!! However, my mum is the type of parent to say “why isn’t she wearing socks?” And “why can’t you put her down for her naps?” , all of which I don’t find particularly helpful. I guess I’m just used to having a bit more space from these people and, while I love that they want to see the baby, their increased existence in my life means I can’t relax as much as I used to

10 weeks is still so young and babies are still so unpredictable at that age, so are hard to look after if you’re not their parent! i imagine they’d want to get more involved when it’s a little easier when your baby gets older. also without sounding rude, sounds like have a village there if both sets of grandparents are around often. they’re not just babysitters by default as they’re grandparents.

My mum and step dad are useless aswell tbh. They never watch my boy and he is very well behaved, he is 4 and goes to the toilet etc. Not like he takes a lot to look after, but they have never actually watched him without me there. My mother in law on the other hand loves to have my son over the weekend and during holidays and she lives about a 2 hour drive away. She sees him more than my parents in the next town.

We get no babysitting either. It’s hard work. I gave up on grandparents. We can’t rely on anyone it’s exhausting but that’s it.

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