You see a child with medical devices/tubes while in public. Do you ask the parents about it?

I think it depends on the situation and how you approach things like I know it’s so different for me cause my boy has cleft lip and people ask I don’t mind saying what it is and that but I hate it when you have people staring at him or if I’m having a rubbish day and someone asks ill politely just give them a small answer

I have never actually asked. I think people want to go out in public and not always feel like they have to tell the child’s life story. However Some families are more than happy to share/ educate anyone about the child’s situation, while others might want you to mind your business. I would only ask if I have been talking to said individual a while (a hour or so) and we brought up the kids in natural conversation. But beyond that….nah I would not poke around.

If my child asked then potentially and then only with permission of the parents and with no pressure or expectation. I would never ask as an adult but I guess very little people have a tendency to stare, and I guess from an uneducated POV perhaps it’s better for little people to understand and normalise seeing other situations so they don’t made their own judgements? I don’t know, @Hessa what’s your opinion on small children asking questions?

I actually find it insane anyone would even think to come up to you just to ask you that about your child. Like I know it’s probably harmless intentions but it just feels reaaallly intrusive especially coming from complete strangers.

I never ask. I always make sure I smile and be extra polite because I know the parents have been through so much and need extra kindness.

@Madeleine Kids ask the best questions. They always love the sticker on my son's cheek to hold his NG tube in place and are just innocently curious since they've not been exposed to it. Personally I have no problem with anyone asking questions, as long as they are polite about it. I'd tell you my son's whole diagnosis story and treatments if you ask politely and I have time. But while I'm ok with that I know a lot of other parents aren't.

@Kalyn This absolutely, while I don't mind it, it comes off quite intrusive sometimes. I always think, wow these people have balls to ask a total stranger about their child's medical history I could never.

The only time I’ve ever asked about anything medical is if I’m in direct care of the child. It seems absolutely wild to just ask a total stranger

When my son was first diagnosed with cancer as a baby, it really upset me when people would ask. At the time I was really struggling to cope and couldn’t find the words to explain. At the time his condition was critical, and we only went out when it was absolutely necessary. The last thing I wanted to do was have to explain why my baby was bald, why he had tubes in his nose, or what the huge scar was from. It’s been three years into his treatment, and I no longer mind answering a few questions if it comes up in conversation. I think it’s ok to be curious, but it’s more important to treat other people how we’d like to be treated.

@Jorgie-Anne We are also a cancer family 💞 I can't imagine going through this with a baby, it's hard enough with a 3 year old.

@Hessa My heart goes out to you! My son was diagnosed with brain cancer at 10 months old, but he’s three years old now and overcoming every adversity that’s put in his path. I hope you guys are doing well and I’m sending lots of love your way.

Some people have more curiosity than emphaty.

@Hessa Thank you! I think in general not to cause upset, if my child had a question I’ll err on the side of caution and perhaps have a quiet word with said child instead, just in case it’s too invasive. Really appreciate your advice!

@Jorgie-Anne Thank you, sending love to you and your family as well. My son was diagnosed with brain cancer in January, Medulloblastoma SHH.

@Hessa Can I PM you?

Honestly I would never talk to a stranger in a shop unless they spoke to me, so asking medical questions is crazy to me. The only time I ever think it would be possibly acceptable would be if a small child asked since they don’t have the same social skills and are so curious, like my daughter went straight up to someone yesterday and asked why their dog only had 3 legs and I would never.

I'd personally never ask, it's too personal to ask a stranger.

I think it's a really rude and intrusive thing to do personally. That's your child's personal and confidential medical information, I think they'd be upset if people were prying into theirs, it's just that most of the time it's not visible. I have always made sure not to stare at people who are physically disabled if I have noticed them in public and treat them like the average able-bodied person just with extra kindness and smiles! How exhausting it must be for parents to repeat themselves. Even those who don't mind questions must feel a little overwhelmed or interrogated sometimes. Not something I would do as it's none of my business! I also wonder how it must make the child feel too, which is another reason I wouldn't ask.