We did a few sessions with a marriage counselor, and that was really helpful for us! It's hard to prepare for how different and hard and sleep deprived and stressed that having a baby can make things! It's very easy to think "I knew it was going to be hard, or different, but I had no idea it would be like this!" I'm going to come at it from the probably -not-a-narcissist angle, just a tired, stressed out, out of his league new dad. It's hard for them because they see what we're going through, but they really don't have a way to understand how we're feeling. How exhausted, and overwhelming it all is. Clear channels of communication are important - and sleep is important. If you have family or a friend who can watch the baby for a few hours, I'd say both of you go take a nap - and then go somewhere where it's just the two of you, even if that's just grabbing a cup of coffee or some fast food somewhere - and then have a discussion.
It's definitely normal for the first few months to be rocky, because again, no matter how much you thought you prepared, it's more crazy and intense than anything can really prepare you for. But it's also definitely not permanent - it can get better!! It won't just magically get better, unfortunately, but if you put in some work it can definitely get better, and pretty quickly! (Like within a month, you can be 80% back to "normal" )
It definitely could get better. Just try to communicate things better. At least from what you posted I believe that is what could help out a lot. Like make sure you get sit down time to talk out your feelings and don’t leave anything out. Make sure you state exactly how you’re feeling and ask if you need to do anything different to make things go better for the two of you. Babies are definitely a different insight to your marriage. Also the people going the complete narcissist way I don’t agree with. As babies are huge difference in a marriage. Also from what you posted I don’t see a narcissist. I see a lack of communication and both exhausted partners that are honestly one is going 0-60 and one is getting hurt by it. I think once you communicate your feelings it will go a lot better. Like with my husband and I, he is the calm approach and I can go 0-60. So I’ve been trying to calm myself before I get 0-60 and I try to talk out my feelings more
The relationship will only get better if you guys actually do the work. Sit down and talk. Be strong, direct and upfront with your feelings. Ask him the hard question: what changed and how can we move forward together. Having a baby can really test the relationship. But what we don’t need as new mums, is a an angry and avoidant father. You need a supportive partner, you’re already at home all day with the baby, the last thing you need is your partner snapping and you having to beg for downtime. You obviously still care for him, and if under all that you’re certain he feels the same, then put your foot down and speak up now or things will only get worst.