i know i sound so ungrateful, but i’m so tired of my mum buying things for my unborn child🥲

I had this problem too. I’m still finding it difficult to say no to her when I actually need the item. I wish that I had spoken up and been firm about my boundaries.

@Olivia i tried to explain it to her politely but she’s just like “it doesn’t matter if you don’t like it. it’s not about you” but it’s MY baby🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

Do you live with her? It does matter if you don’t like it, it’s your home, your space, your child’s room, clothes etc. I’d just say “thanks but we have more than enough now”, or “if you are looking for something to buy us we would love…”. “We appreciate that you are excited and want to spoil us but you can help us by buying some of these things we would love to get our daughter”.

I would counter her “it’s not about you” with “it’s not about you either”. You are this baby’s mum, she’s a grandparent. There’s a pecking order. Was your grandmother pushy and controlling like this with her when she was pregnant? She sounds like she thinks you don’t know what you are doing (which lots of us don’t as FTM) but it’s a bit demeaning. Are you young? Xx

@Sarah i’m 24. it’s just really frustrating tbh & i feel so guilty trying to say something! she also said her & our family friend have planned to take the grandchildren away on holiday & i was just thinking… you have to ask first?!!! i just told her no she isn’t🤣🤷🏻‍♀️ it genuinely feels like it’s her baby at this point xx

I can imagine. Some mums are just really overbearing when their kids become parents, whether they mean anything by it or not. Set some firm boundaries as soon as you can, earlier the better. Have your red lines and stick to them. Things like partner only in the hospital (if that’s what you want), no compromise on the car seat, the cot, the pram. No input into the baby’s name. Things you really don’t want her influence on. The sooner you and your partner voice those the better. My mum was a bit much but I think she just finally realised I didn’t need her anymore. Once she saw me with baby she stopped worrying about me in life, like I’d finally grown up in her eyes. Your mum sounds like she’s trying to help (telling you what bedsheets are best) but she’s just coming off as controlling. Worst case scenario say your partner thinks Harry Pptter is crap 😂 xx

I had to deal with this with my first child, and eventually I had to set my foot down on all the large, important items, and with everything else I said “thank you so much!!” Then I put the items away and continued to get the things I wanted because they didn’t want to listen to me. It’s difficult when you’re trying to tell someone how you feel about something and they choose not to listen.

Doesn’t sound ungrateful - and hopefully that’s not a word they’re using to describe your very reasonable reaction. What happens when you decide to donate/get rid of something that baby doesn’t use or doesn’t like? E.g. we never used Ewan the Sheep even though we had it because it just wasn’t needed. If there are going to be rules about how the gifts are used, these aren’t gifts, they’re obligations. There will always be something that hasn’t been done right. Nip it in the bud early but politely and consistently and if she keeps going, let it be less polite.

You’re not ungrateful this would really annoy me! I’d ask her to take it all back!! It’s not about her!