Family Visiting from Abroad After Birth? — Advice Needed

Hi everyone, I’m a first-time mum and need advice. My husband’s mum and brother, who live abroad, want to visit when the baby is born. They plan to stay for about 3 weeks, maybe longer. They could stay elsewhere most of the time, but would also want to stay a few nights with us. I’m feeling anxious — I’m very private, easily overwhelmed, and don’t know how birth and recovery will be. I’m worried about needing space to bond, heal, and adjust without pressure. My husband only has a couple of weeks off work, and I really pictured us having time to bond and soak it all in, and creating a quiet bubble together. He on the other hand feels torn as he really imagined his family being around during this exciting chapter in his life. But I worry it will distract him and even with them offering extra help and so on, it will stop us from being able to truly bond as a small family and build routine. I’m also nervous about germs with a newborn as it’s a long distance flight. How have others handled family visiting from abroad? Is it reasonable to ask them to delay their trip? And by how long? Did you feel you needed extra help and am I being unreasonable? How did your partners manage their expectations? Would love to hear what’s reasonable and understand how you handled similar situations! Thank you!

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I gave birth 2 weeks ago and first family visit from abroad is planned for end of may, so giving me 8 weeks to settle in. Its my husband's family as well and initially he wanted them to come over Easter but I did say no. I think you definitely need to give yourself some time before they and don't be afraid to ask to delay

I’m currently going through something similar. I have asked his parents to delay the trip. This is your time, you’re mot going to get it back. My advice would be to prioritise your little family for the time being x

I don't think you're been unreasonable and it all depends on your comfort. My mum came over from abroad as my partner only had two weeks off. She came over once he was back to work to help and I did need it. However it was my mother so more comfortable. She wore a mask on the plane and didnt get sick, but it was a 2 hour flight. Maybe a compromise would be them coming over for a couple of days before your partner goes back to work so that he has some time with them too? Again though its totally reasonable for you not to be comfortable with that as like you say, you will be getting into your new normal and you will have just given birth, hormones and emotions high etc. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. X

Omg I had a horrible time when my family visited when my LG was 15 days old Would highly recommend you to ask them to come after baby is 2 months old.. the first two months are the hardest and you don’t wasn’t too many people around

I had a similar situation when my son was born. My partners family live in NZ. His mum was adamant she would be here for the birth and stay for 3 weeks. We managed to convince her to come a month after our due date 'just in case baby was late'. My excuse because my siblings and I were all 3 weeks late, but really I just wanted time to soak it in and adjust/heal. We also told her she had to have all vaccinations up to date and have a back up place to stay in case she got sick. Wear a mask on her journey too. I was a very nervous first time mum. But she also agreed it was best as she's a nurse and deals with sick people all day. I found it very stressful while she was here. She arrived the Monday my partner went back to work and I had only met her once. She was wonderful, don't get me wrong. But having someone in your house while you're healing and trying to bond with a new baby wasn't fun for me.

You're definitely not being unreasonable. Just work out what you are comfortable with and try to come to a compromise.

Hey, You're not being unreasonable AT ALL! It's so hard with a newborn and being a first time mum, trying to get used to the 'new' normal for your little family now, creating that bond and enjoying time together, all while trying to heal and re over yourself. So to add guests stay over, particularly if you don't know them well/at all and then be expected to entertain them or cater to them as well, it's a lot. Explain to your husband your thoughts on it, everything you've mentioned here. Your reasoning makes perfect sense, and something a lot of people would agree with I think. You want to recover, heal, and get to know your little baby, and guests can wait, even if they're family. Your baby is so vulnerable at this stage, it's only going to add more stress and pressure on you all. Once baby's a little bigger it will be easier for baby to handle visitors/germs/new faces and also hopefully easier for you too. I get it's tricky though, but you must put your new growing family first 🙂

I'd definitely get them to hold off their visit until baby is at least 2 weeks old, jts selfish to force yourself on people who have just had a baby! My parents visited when my youngest was a qeek old and that was fine, as tbh they helped alot

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