in Manchester
No village
Any tips for coping with 2 kids and no real support network? Stay at home mum to two under 5, home ed, neurodivergent child, husband struggling with low mood, grew up with a narcissist, in laws are elderly (but try to help bi weekly), house needs work. Feels like the odds are stacked against us and we have no one checking in on us, or offering much/any support. I have siblings (with no kids) but never really hear from them and only see them a few times a year.
Do you think family is important to you child's development? Do we try and find a village elsewhere? How do you make friends where you don't feel like they are too busy for you? 😫
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I have no village either. My family live down south and my baby dad n family are crap. I don’t have real friends here either so raising a 9 yr old (possibly with autism) n 6 month old alone. Don’t have tips for you I’m afraid but here if you want to talk.
If you’re doing home education then there are sessions around at various places where you may find likeminded people. I’ve seen places like Clay Studio in Manchester do sessions for home education, Eureka, maybe even Museum of Science & Industry. Our parents are older (late 70s early 80s) so from a practical sense there’s just us. It’s definitely hard on relationships. I think the last time we had any time as a couple was 2 hours for a lunch out last October.
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I don’t necessarily think extended family is important as it depends on the quality of your relationships. You might make friends that are more invested or supportive of your children and lifestyle than family are. I grew up close to some family but a lot of people we spent time with or helped us were my parents friends who had kids. I would go to them in an emergency over most of my extended family. I think friends wise, it helps if people are either in a similar situation or are understanding of it otherwise there can be an imbalance of making time for each other. Like if you make friends with other people doing home ed, you could meet up and do things together. There seem to be lots of groups on fb for support and meet ups. They would have better advice for you in that area than someone who sends their kids to school etc. I think building a village is better than inheriting one as then they are your people and want the best for you