Feeling so lost and worthless

How do you other mothers live life with 5 kids and pregnant... Alone ... Me and my children were abandoned for the 100th time by their father who is my ex husband. And I'm extremely hurt and lost... Like how could he just up and leave.. not even care to see his kids or help me take care of them. I'll be having his 6th child in 2 weeks 😩... The way I feel I can't even explain it. I'm trying so hard to stay strong and fight for my kids. But I'll never have a break.