People with no village

Go to as many local mum groups as possible, on mat leave I did something almost everyday. It can be exhausting but it was definitely good for my mental health to meet so many other mums, some that I hope I’ll remain long term friends with

Exactly the same boat here! It’s hard but depending on how old your little one gets, it gets better! My girl is nearly 10 months now and I am absolutely loving it but she is a very chilled baby so that is helping tho. Feel free to text me at any point if you ever wanna get stuff off your chest!

I don’t have family or any siblings and I found my own little village of other mums through NCT, baby sensory, swimming lessons etc

I started creating a village when I was pregnant, intentionally. And continued that pp. paid off for my mental health and I’m sure in the future it will in other ways also. There is no deadline but we all need a community/people we can give to and take from not just in pp. so start creating your village ❤️ But in the immediate, you will get through it. Try going out to play groups, go to your mum if you can etc

I’m struggling with this too, feel like I don’t have time for anything, I need 8 arms

@Jay what a great idea! I wish I had done the same.

Same here, no village, hang in there! Make mom friends :)

I joined a mom group too, helped me a lot

I have no village and have been so lonely for the whole 10 months of my girls life 😔

I think it depends what you’d want from your village. Company? Practical help? Emotional support? For company/ emotional support mum and baby groups help. I can call my family/ friends but face to face conversation is more helpful even if it is with strangers. In the beginning just getting out daily after C-section was mentally helpful even if I didn’t talk to anyone - walking, cafe, supermarket, driving (eventually). Practically having no village is tough. My partner works away too so solo 90% of the week. Prep when you can, rest when you can (which is easier if things are prepped) and just take it day, hour or minute at a time. You’ll have heard it before but it gets easier. Not necessarily the baby but your ability to cope with a cranky kid and sleep deprivation. You’ll get quicker at the repetitive stuff and routines etc will develop. FTM and nearly 6 months in but I already feel like I’m a seasoned pro - until the next leap 😂

I'm lucky that my partners family are amazing and very close by but i live a few hours away from my family and it can be rough sometimes. My siblings haven't met my 3 month old and no idea when they will. I'd suggest the same as other's have above and try going to baby groups, there'll likely be other mums in your situation

Our families are both overseas. During Mat leave it was baby classes every day and trying to meet and arrange activity with local mums. Now it massively helps being back at work and having her in nursery.

It definitely used to me hit hard! But then I thought what's the use in feeling sorry for myself,have to be strong for my little one. I just count my blessings and make sure I'm utilizing whatever in between moments I have. It helps having something to look forward to. Like a dessert your wanting to pick up,a bath you may take.

Trying to put myself out there more. Been going to a baby class once a week. Met a few moms on here. It’s nice getting out and talking with other moms. Definitely try your best to reach out.

I can’t imagine how this feels so sorry you feel this way, but I feel this app is created for many reasons and one being for this exact reason. Why not create your own village, meet people on here if you haven’t already? Go to your local libraries or sensory classes. I think if you make one good friend it would be a lot less lonely. I have my village but I’ve made a good friend on here and my days aren’t too bad because I feel like I’m going through motherhood with another new mum who just gets me.

I know it’s so hard when family and close friends do not live by. Also hard when you think you have a village but it turns out they are no longer there when you have a baby, that happens too. What’s really helped me mentally is having a group of new mums around, going to classes can help the network if you didn’t go to antenatal classes. If you did reach out to the other mums, they are probably going through the same stuff. Also practically what can you outsource? Hire a cleaner? Buy in healthy ready meals so you don’t need to cook? We love COOK and simmer eats for this. This helps with reducing clean up and no time cooking but still nutritious meals. My LO is 8 months and it gets easier 😊

Also one thing that’s made a huge difference is my partner takes my LO for 1-2 hours (depending on work commitments) first thing in the morning. This enable me to either sleep if it’s been a rough night or do something for me in the morning if I’ve slept ok. It’s a great time for them to bond too. I breast feed so try and breast feed before Dad takes her

I'm not really coping 😅 I've tried my hardest to make mum friends but it's always been very surface level. They already have all their friends, they have their groups, it's always very closed which sucks. My family don't visit too often as they live a couple hours away, and my partners family lives 5 hours away. I'm going to be moving closer to my family because of how hard it is to be lonely. I go to all the baby groups but I have a quieter personality so I get spoken over constantly. But what has made it easier is just getting outside. Even seeing that other people exist helps the day go by quicker and makes me feel like I'm putting in a bit of an effort to be around people. I'm hopeful for a real friend one day. I don't want to keep reaching out, putting my all into a friendship and not being seen the same way, it affects my mental health more than I could describe 💔