Nursery. What would you do?
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@Ghitta thank you for your response. Do you think I’ve over reacted tho? I just don’t know if I’m overreacting about the situation and if I do flag it how will that make our relationship with the nursery and staff? The thing is the staff member that done all this is my child key person as well.
If you are getting red flags then move him. Due to the training they get on safeguarding I wonder whether some (usually the younger less experienced ones) nursery workers can inflame basic / normal situations into more sinister things. I’ve had this happen a few times and it was extremely annoying / inappropriate, like you said words being put into my child’s mouth. Since moving her we’ve had no issues at all, when they are young they adapt quickly.
Its gard to tell because 1, I wasn't there myself and 2. You aren't a fly on the wall either. Its tough because we just don't really know what's happening inside. Heres and example. My friends daughter is currently acting up and crying every day. She is 3. Says she never wants to go back to school again. She's been crying for 3 weeks now. When mom.asked, she said the teacher yelled at her. (Her key worker). But her teacher has always been so soft and sweet. So hard to understand why, and about what, and how hard she yelled at her.... if she even did. But how is she still crying 3 weeks later? Also, the teacher was very dismissive the other day and told the mom, 'i wish your daughter will just stop crying. I dont know how to handle her when she is like this!'. So now the mom.is like.. hhmmm maybe she did snap and yelled at her. But we just don't know. So how to handle it?
I'd suggest the following: Make a list of all the things that you are not happy with the nursery. Write down all the incidents that has happened. If tou are able to speak to other moms, ask them if similar stuff has been happening. The nursery I took my daughter out of was fabulous. I lived the place. Until she went up 1 year and the next group of teachers were just crap. I had a really good bond with the 1st class, so went to speak to the teachers there. They weren't surprised I wasn't happy. Said that group of 3 teachers in that class ... lots of complaints. So I knwlew I wasn't the only 1. Then, lucky for me, the school asked for anonymous feedback on what we are and aren't happy with. They then shared the collated info with everyone. Within that report, the same issues came up for that same class by numerous parents.
Once I had that info, I went to speak to the head. Things changed. I was happy, but my daughter wasn't. She was happy ith play and friends, but she was suddenly shy towards the teachers. Alarm bells for me. I met a set of specific questions I asked the teachers. I wanted specific answers for those questions and they weren't able to provide any good answers. That helped me make my mind up to remove her and so I did.
If you have a feeling I your gut, act on it. What i now also find helpful, wish I used it before though! Is taking all my info i have say that list of things you arent happy about, add it into chatgpt and ask to help you better formulate or summarise it and what it may suggest you do with that given information. What is the next best step. Maybe it can provide you with a list of questions to ask your nrdery head or staff etc. Be very very specific in what you need from chatgpt.
Hope this helps.
I worked in a nursery for 8 years before having my lo, on their side scratches is a safeguarding procedure they have to follow, and they should not have discussed this in front of other parents.. so you could put a complaint in. Staff members should also be trained on using open ended questions when asking a child about an injury.. so you could mention that you wasn’t happy with them mentioning a cat, as it’s false information.. hope that helps at all!
@Paige hi hun, thank you. Yeah I’m not fussed about pulling me up on an injury/scratch whatever they consider needs to be discussed. But like you said it was that fact I was told outside of nursery in front of a parent and then my child is now convinced he was scratched by a cat because he was told he was 🤦🏻♀️ it’s giving me anxiety and trust issues with this staff member and the fact it’s my child’s key person makes it even more uncomfortable. I’ve also had a lot of Miss communication since my child has started there 7 months ago with this certain staff member. It’s just a lot of unnecessary stress constantly x
If you aren't happy with the nursery and your gut tells you so, move him. Kids are alot more resilient and will get iver their 'friends'. I've moved my lo alot! 11-16 months at childminder 13-27 months at nursery, along with childminder.. Drop the childminder and placed her in a montessori nursery alongside normal nursery from 24 months. Ditched that normal nursery at 27 months as I didn't like it and over her to another from 36 months. So now, she is in a normal and montessori nursery and very happy in both. In total, she's been at 4 different settings from 11 months. She's thrived in all of them and just made new friends. Move your I'd if you are not happy. And speak to the head of the school initially. She will then have a chat with the nursery staff and if she doesn't do it, you give a review date. E.g. please can you speak to them, see if there's changes and let's review in 4 weeks from now, or 6 or whatever. If it hasn't changed, moved. Or give 1 more chance.