Losing my confidence since becoming a second time mum

I felt this way too. My anxiety was through the roof at the thought of doing anything with them both by myself so started out just going places with my husband. The more we went out even just for walks, the more confident i got then i attempted to take them both for a walk without my husband in a double stroller (which was heavy af) and my nerves were still going crazy then I did it a second time, a third time... and it slowly got better. Then we started going to baby and toddler groups and we were actually okay. Not sure 'that feeling' ever completely goes away because you're out numbered and their wellbeing is your responsibility but it slowly gets better and you get used to doing it. Just take it one step at a time, you've got this. x

I think it’s the double buggy that’s not helped I went to the doctors and couldn’t get through the door 🤦🏽‍♀️. I have now purchased a tandem but my friend has text me asking to meet up for a drink and I just keep thinking what if one of them plays up when out and I can’t control anything 😣 I just didn’t realise the transition would actually be this hard but thank you x

I definitely felt the same way and now I’m almost 3 weeks away from my 3rd and my anxiety has gotten so much worse again. I still feel so out of control sometimes with my 2 so the thought of a 3rd to take care of terrifies me. Like I know deep down (deep deep down) everything will be okay eventually just like before but the anxiety is real. Babies and children are so unpredictable, which is normal, but I feel like society and people can be such a judgy, horrible place that it makes us worry that we’ll lose that control despite babies and children just being themselves is totally normal and okay, society tells us it’s not so we feel like we’re failing. It’s okay to feel those things, you’re definitely not alone. Giving you the biggest virtual hug 🤗 the transition is so hard but small and simple steps will help. I have to dive right into the school run after I have my 3rd so feel like I have no choice 😂 sometimes having the choice to hide makes us feel worse xx

tbh you won’t feel comfortable until you start going out more or at least starting little by driving with both kids around. Once you have a routine down for the kids then you can start going out more and the 2nd is a little older. don’t stay somewhere too long, your time is limited now so get in and get out

Yes I felt this way! With my second and third because they're close in age, my oldest is much older. My younger two are about 19 months apart and I struggled with both. Especially because around age 2-3 my middle child was a runner. I was terrified we'd be in public and she'd run and I'd have to try to catch her while also holding my youngest. A couple bad experiences made me never want to leave the house again. But they're 3 and almost 5 now and things are much easier.

btw I have 3 children. 6, 3 and 7mo