One and Done Family: Why Having a Single Child Is on the Rise

Ever try to navigate a stroller through a busy brunch spot, juggle a diaper change in the back of your tiny hatchback, and still make it to work on time?

That daily hustle can make any parent wonder if managing more than one kid is realistic — or even something they really want.

For many, the decision to have just one child is both personal and practical.

If you identify with the idea of a “one and done family”, you’re not alone.

Whether it’s the mounting pressure from relatives asking, “When’s the next baby coming?” or the well-meaning friend who jokes, “Come on, just one more!” you might be ready to say: “Actually, I’m good with one.”

Let’s talk about what that really means and why it’s more common than you might think.

But first, take a deep breath.

Nobody’s here to judge.

Parenting is exhausting, expensive, and yes, rewarding, but did we mention it’s exhausting?

Having just one child can be a perfectly valid solution to that overwhelming whirlwind.

Still, people have questions — like, a lot of them — so let’s jump into what “one and done” means, how prevalent it is, and why so many modern parents are heading in that direction.

In this article: 📝

What does “one and done” mean?

When someone mentions “one and done”, they’re talking about the choice (or sometimes the circumstance) of having exactly one child, no more.

The one and done meaning goes deeper than just the number of kids you have.

It’s about the lifestyle you embrace, the resources you have, and the emotional capacity you’re willing or able to invest in raising a child.

For some people, the idea forms before they ever get pregnant, based on finances, life goals, or personal health.

For others, it evolves after the first baby arrives, when they realize how much physical, emotional, and financial energy parenting actually demands.

Parents who consider themselves one and done often say they want to give their full attention, love, and resources to a single child, without spreading themselves too thin.

There can be a sense of freedom in knowing your limits and respecting them.

Plus, focusing on one child can mean fewer sibling rivalries, a more predictable budget, and a chance for parents to maintain (at least a smidge of) that pre-kid lifestyle they loved — whether that’s traveling, building a career, or just having a few moments of peace at the end of the day.

One thing to note: A one and done family can look different depending on culture, background, and personal values.

One parent might be single, another might be married, another in a same-sex relationship.

Everyone’s story is unique, and that’s the beauty of modern parenting.

How common is one and done?

It can feel like everyone and their mom has at least two or three kids, especially if you scroll social media and see big family photo shoots every time you blink.

But the reality is a bit different.

Depending on where you live, single-child families can actually be quite common.

Recent demographic data in several Western countries show a growing trend toward smaller families (with more choosing not to have children), and many of us millennials and Gen Zers are part of that shift. [1]

In the US, the size of the average family has fallen to the lowest rate ever, averaging around 3.13 people per family (typically two parents, one child). [2]

In the UK, around 44% of families have one child, with two-kid families making up 41% and families of three or more children adding up to 15% — so one and done makes up the majority of family sizes in the UK. [3]

In the EU, it’s a similar story, with 49% of households having 1 child. [4]

Between rising living costs and a desire to balance personal freedom with parenthood, it’s no surprise more people are opting for a single child.

Some research has been digging into this trend for decades.

According to one classic study, family size in certain regions began shrinking as early as the mid-20th century. [5]

Back then, economic pressures and changing social values started influencing people’s decisions around having children.

In the United States, for example, a trend toward delayed marriage and childbearing contributed to smaller families overall. [6]

Fast-forward to today, and we see entire communities where one-child families are either the norm or just as common as families with multiple kids.

If you’re worried that your kid will be the only “only”, don’t stress too much.

They’ll likely meet plenty of other singleton kids at school, in sports, or at extracurricular activities.

And with social media and online parent groups, you can easily connect with other families who’ve made the same choice.

Why are some people one and done?

So, what’s driving this move toward one-child families?

It’s not just about saving cash (though that’s a biggie).

Sometimes it’s about mental health, physical health, or just wanting to maintain a decent quality of life. Here are a few key reasons:

1. Money

Let’s be real: kids are expensive.

From diapers and formula to dance lessons and college funds, there’s a price tag for everything.

If you’re already sweating the grocery bill, adding another mini human to the mix might feel impossible.

Many parents say they can give their child more opportunities — like better education or extracurriculars — if they only have one kid to support. [7]

2. Work-life balance

Gone are the days (for many) when one parent stayed home full-time while the other earned the household income.

Today, both parents often work or juggle multiple gigs.

Having one child can make it easier to balance careers, side hustles, personal passions, and of course, parenthood.

It can also mean fewer nights of burning the midnight oil to keep up with endless chores.

3. Emotional and mental well-being

Some parents find the stress of sleepless nights, postpartum recovery, or even postpartum depression (PPD) so significant that they can’t imagine going through it again.

Many one and done families say they can provide a calmer, more supportive environment by keeping things simpler with just one child.

4. Medical or health-related reasons

For some, medical conditions make pregnancy and childbirth difficult or risky.

Whether it’s a high-risk pregnancy, a traumatic birth experience, or a health issue that surfaced after the first child, many parents choose not to put their bodies (and minds) through that again.

Some couples also face fertility challenges that make multiple pregnancies feel like an uphill battle.

5. Personal choice and lifestyle

There’s this idea that once you become a parent, your personal goals automatically shift to the back burner.

But that’s not always the case.

If you love traveling, dreaming up a business, or just want a solid eight hours of sleep once in a while, having one child might strike the perfect balance between following your passions and building a family.

In fact, between 2018 and 2023, the percentage of US adults under 50 rose from 37% to 47% — the highest it’s ever been. [8]

6. Environmental or ethical reasons

Some parents factor sustainability into their choice.

We’re more aware than ever about environmental impacts, population concerns, and global resources.

Deciding to have a smaller family can feel like a way to reduce one’s carbon footprint and manage resources more responsibly.

Even celebs are talking about how the environment impacts their choice whether to have kids — like Miley Cyrus: “Until I feel like my kid could live on an earth with fish int he water, I’m not bringing in another person to deal with that”. [9]

While it’s obviously a personal decision, it’s part of a wider conversation around living more sustainably.

Only child myth-busting

Despite how common one-child families are becoming, misconceptions still float around, so let’s tackle those now:

Myth: Only children are always lonely or spoiled.

Reality: Only children often show comparable social skills to kids with siblings, and sometimes even excel in empathy and maturity. [10-12]

Sure, you’ll need to foster social connections for your kid, but that’s true whether they have siblings or not.

Myth: One-child parents are selfish.

Reality: Parenting one child can allow for deeper emotional investment and financial support.

That can be a loving, responsible choice, not a selfish one. [13]

Myth: Your child will miss out on sibling bonds.

Reality: Sibling relationships can be wonderful — but they can also be complicated and stressful.

Friendships, cousins, and community can fill that gap, too.

Being an only child doesn’t doom anyone to a lonely life.

Myth: You’ll regret not having more kids later.

Reality: Maybe you will, maybe you won’t.

Regret isn’t guaranteed — plenty of people are content with their one and done decision.

And if you do reconsider, there are lots of ways to build family and community beyond biology.

Myth: Only children are more likely to develop hypochondria.

Reality: While some (very) old research — literally from the 1800s — suggested that being an only child is “ a disease in itself”, we know that’s not the case now. [14]

Much more research shows that school attendance could actually be higher for only children than those with siblings. [15]

Navigating the pressure of family and friends

Odds are, if you’re leaning one and done, you’ll get some side-eye or unsolicited advice.

Grandma might insist your child “needs a sibling,” or your best friend might rave about how amazing it is to have a big family.

Here are a few suggestions for handling that pressure:

• Politely deflect: A simple “We’re happy as we are, thanks for asking!” can work wonders.
  
• Set boundaries: If someone won’t let it go, it’s okay to say, “I appreciate your concern, but this is our personal decision.”.
  
• Stay informed: Sometimes people judge because they don’t understand. Having a few stats on hand, like referencing studies that show singletons thrive, can shut down an argument quickly.
  
• Keep it light with humor: Sometimes a playful quip, like “We’re way too tired to keep adding to the chaos”, can diffuse tension and remind people it’s your life decision.
  
• Give your child a voice: If your kid’s old enough, ask them how they feel about being an only child. Sharing their positivity can help silence critics who insist, “They’ll be lonely!”
  
• Celebrate your choice: Throw a “one and done” milestone party or treat yourselves to a special family outing — reminding everyone (and yourself) that this is your happy place.
  
• Find your people: Whether it’s an online parent group or local meetup, connecting with other one and done families can be validating. It’s good to know you’re not the only one traveling this road. Not sure where to find your people? Join the other moms of solo kids on Peanut.

Life with one child: The upsides

Sure, there are perks to being a one and done family.

If you’re on the fence, here are a few upsides to consider (bearing in mind these aren’t guaranteed, just things to consider):

• More one-on-one time: You’ll likely have more meaningful moments with your child — reading together, exploring new hobbies, or just cuddling on the couch to watch a movie.
  
• Reduced financial stress: Fewer kids can translate to more wiggle room in the budget. That could mean family vacations, extracurriculars, or saving for college without a mountain of debt.
  
• Less daily chaos: Fewer bedtimes, fewer sports practices, and maybe a more predictable schedule. This can be huge for anyone who craves a little less chaos in their life.
  
• Potential for personal growth: You might find it easier to pursue your career goals, side projects, or even continue your education when you’re not dividing attention among multiple kiddos.
  
• More opportunities for your child: With fewer dependents, you might be able to invest in specialized classes, extracurriculars, or summer camps that broaden your kid’s horizons.
  
• Emotional well-being: A calmer household can mean less stress for everyone, potentially improving mental health for both you and your child.
  
• Spontaneity in parenting: Easier to pack up for a weekend getaway or say yes to last-minute adventures without juggling multiple kids’ schedules.

Challenges to keep in mind with a solo kid

While the one-child route has its advantages, it’s not all sunshine and daisies (again, these aren’t definite cons to having an only child, just something to bear in mind):

• “Playmate” dilemmas: Your kid might occasionally want a sibling to play with. Arranging playdates can help, but you might feel a twinge of guilt when they say they’re bored.
  
• High parental involvement: With only one child, you can’t pass off some duties to a sibling. This might mean more attention is on you to keep them entertained or engaged.
  
• External judgment: Some people still believe a family isn’t “complete” without multiple kids. Over time, this can feel annoying — or even hurtful.
  
• “All eyes on me” syndrome: Being your child’s main playmate, listener, and teacher can mean your kid gets used to adult-level attention, making peer interactions a bigger adjustment.
  
• Potential for extra pressure: Some only children may feel they have to live up to higher expectations, since they’re the sole focus of parental hopes and dreams.
  
• Long-term support: When you age, there’s only one set of shoulders to help with your care. Not that having multiple kids guarantees help, but it’s a thought many consider.

We’ll say it again: these challenges aren’t insurmountable.

Plenty of one child families thrive with strong support networks, strong friendships, and extended family who rally around them.

Tips for raising a happy only child

If you’ve decided the one and done life is for you, or you’re already in the midst of it, here are a few ways to help ensure your child grows up healthy and well-adjusted:

• Encourage social interaction: Sign them up for team sports, dance classes, or scouting groups. Interacting with peers will help them learn to share, negotiate, and make friends.
  
• Set clear boundaries: It’s easy to overindulge an only child, but remember that saying “no” is okay (and healthy!).
  
• Promote independence: Give them tasks that build self-reliance, like helping with chores or learning to solve small problems on their own.
  
• Foster a balanced family dynamic: Let them see you as a whole person with interests and limits. Model the balance between together time and personal space.
  
• Teach them to handle boredom: Let them explore their imagination when there’s nothing to do — no need to jump in every time they say “I’m bored!”
  
• Encourage new experiences: Whether it’s trying a new hobby or traveling somewhere different, exposing them to variety helps broaden their social and cultural perspectives.
  
• Involve extended family: Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins can step in as extra playmates, mentors, and cheerleaders in your child’s life.
  
• Model healthy communication: Since there’s no sibling to practice conflict resolution with, teach them how to navigate disagreements or share feelings in a respectful way.
  
• Celebrate “solo kid” strengths: Remind them it’s cool to be independent and resourceful — qualities that can bloom when they’re an only child.

Whether you choose to have one kid or five, the key is building a family dynamic that works for you.

Being a one and done family is your choice — no need to apologize, second-guess, or let the neighbor’s comments about “your poor, lonely kid” get you down.

We’re all out here trying to balance everyday stress with the realities of raising the next generation.

If that balance is best achieved with a single child, then cheers to you and your one!

At the end of the day, every parent’s journey is different.

You’re not alone in this choice, and you’re not “less than” for making it.

You’re simply being true to yourself — and that’s the best kind of parenting there is.