Getting declined for surrogacy because of my past.

So when I was a teenager I was forced to take meds and I refused over and over to take them. My best friend committed suicide and my birth mother was a drug addict and my adopted mom is a drunk. So it was supper ruff. But I made it through and I am now 23 and have two beautiful children and have been happily married for 3 years and been with my husband for 6. We have grown together bought two houses and many cars we are financially and mentally stable. And we want to start a new chapter on helping someone. But every time I try I get declined to be a surrogate because of my teenager years. I have an amazing fertility consultant and she is trying to get me into a clinic but the clinic declines. I have had 3 families that have said yes to me and understand that when you're a teenager you have a different mindset and life then when you're an adult. But the over and over again being declined is getting to me. It's not that it's getting declined it's that they won't give me a chance. But that's my venting. I just feel down for getting declined over and over. But yeah

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I’m sorry. I know how disappointing it can be. Are you be declined by clinics directly? What information is being sent? I’m a director of a surrogacy agency and would happily talk through this with you.

@Yesenia yes I'm being declined by the clinics. I sent them everything they ask for. They ask for pregnancy and mental records if they didn't ask for the mental I would be okay I feel. But I send it anyway hoping. And I might take u up on that offer. I'm waiting to hear back from another clinic and I hope they say yes. And I can start a new chapter but idk

I’ve never experienced a clinic asking for mental health records. We normally do a clinical evaluation with a license mental health professional. I guess it depends on what diagnoses were made when you were a teenager. Feel free to message me and we can setup a time to meet. I can’t guarantee to get you approved, but I’d be happy to get a little more info talk it through. 😊

Hmm all agencies are different. The agency did look up my medical hospital records and asked me if I struggled with depression and I said no and had to take a a psych evaluation and passed. As long as you are currently not battling with anything I believe it’s okay. Other agencies didn’t even want to give me a chance because at the time I was on Medicaid but i found an agency that worked great with me.

@Jaylene the agency is willing to give me a chance but the clinics at the parents are choosing are not. So I get matched with a family. Get so excited and then 2 weeks later I get oh sorry you are declined. And then I ask why and it's always the exact same answer because in your teen years you were a crazy nut. They say it and more discreet way but I just wish that there were clinics out there that would give people with a troubled past a chance.

Have you been approved yet? I have a wonderful friend who is looking for a surrogate so I’m trying to help her with her search. She could ask about this stuff with her agency/clinic.

@Holly I have not. My agency has sent my files to multiple clients and they all declined me due to my teen years and a faults positive on a drug screening. I am currently trying to find a psychologist that specializes in reproductive cases and can’t find one. But I’ll gladly try with your friend just beware it might not work out. But I’m hopeful

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