in December 2023 Babies 🇺🇸

I don’t want to be pregnant anymore

I’m currently 19 weeks and things are really terrible between my boyfriend and I. Initially the relationship was going great. We went from dating and constantly speeding time with one another to cohabitating. I found out the I was pregnant a few weeks after my 23rd birthday in March. We both were very shocked but happy and ready to prepare for this new bundle of joy. My boyfriend who is 28 has an older son that is 9 that he usually keeps during the summer being that the child relocated to another state with his mother. I honestly was excited for the summer, to experience another piece of him, and be able to collectively do things together. Everything started off pretty smooth. Since I wasn’t working at the time I kept his son during the day while he worked and took him to fun kid spots in the city with either his cousin or some of my family members around his age group. He seem to be a funny kid but a bit rough around the edges with his fascination with guns and face masks. About June I started having issues with both the child and my boyfriend. My boyfriend doesn’t have a car and I don’t mind when he uses mine to go places I just asked to respect me and come home at a decent time, however he was consistently coming home any time between 4am-6am which prompted me to restrict him from using my vehicle. He would leave the home once off work where I was stuck with his child and other children of his family for me to look after in the midst of me going through terrible morning sickness that lasted all day and extreme fatigue which was very hard for me on top of feeling that what he was doing wasn’t right. His son has become very intolerable due to his behaviors of lying, not listening, and simply not staying in a child’s place. I practically have to beg him to do something that I’ve asked . If he doesn’t get his way he goes as far as calling his dad telling him i’m beating on him and has yelled out the window of the car screaming help from the police saying that I was abusing him as well when i have not or have even raised my voice out at him. He thinks because his dad name on the lease that it’s strictly his dad’s place and that he doesn’t have to listen to me. It’s so much more that I can say but to keep this as short as possible I’ve tried to make his dad aware of those things and asked that he atleast have a conversation with him and let him know the things that he’s doing isn’t right but he gets defensive towards me, excuse his behavior and basically rewards him for it . His son has made speculations against his dad too saying that he’s cheating on me and has things as far as he’s going to break us up because he doesn’t want us together and it seems like it’s working. Things have kind of gotten physical lately. I’ve been going on gentle rants with my boyfriend letting him know how I feel to the point where I’m dealing with anxiety and depression again. Today my boyfriend took my keys from me to prevent me from getting breakfast before logging onto my online job because he couldn’t find his phone. I’m really scared especially that feeling that I’ve been having in my stomach that I will miscarry or go into preterm labor due to the stress that I am experiencing from this situation between the both of them. Obviously communicating isn’t working. He doesn’t show interest or check up on me to see how i’ve been feeling throughout my pregnancy this far. He doesn’t even know that i’m working to at home jobs now and we are living together. I’ve cried everyday for the past 3 weeks and just feel defeated. Again I’m a mentally and physically exhausted. I’m suffering with depression and anxiety at this point. I don’t feel like I have support with this pregnancy and I’m just overall very scared to bring a child into this situation. My mother and sister is located in another state and I don’t have contact with my father or his side of the family completely. At this point it’s bittersweet because I feel the baby moving inside of me and I don’t believe in abortions unless it’s life or death but again this situation scares me deeply.

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Girl, leave him. If he cares, he'll get it together. You don't have to bring your baby into a toxic environment. You and the baby don't need the stress. If it's meant to be and he cares, he'll change his ways and work to get you back. If he doesn't, let him go. Your baby is your baby and deserves your love and for you to be happy. You deserve better. Please follow your intuition.

Yeah i agree with the other women here. I dont think the problem is pregnancy or your body. The problem is your unsupportive toxic partner. Leaving with your car for that many hours is unacceptable. Leaving you with HIS son is unacceptable. It doesnt seem like he’s being a good father to the child he already has. And he’s hurting you emotionally during a very sensitive and vital point in your life. If i were you, I’d move in with family, if thats possible. Or on your own, if thats possible. Wishing you strength and confidence rn

@Bryanna girl yes! I went through a DV situation with my ex and he used to do stuff to me like that when I was pregnant with my youngest. On top of that he started hitting me when I was pregnant. It never stopped. It only got worse after the baby was born. He'd take my newborn infant and disappear for hours, even days. My ex eventually went to prison for domestic violence and CPS almost took my son because it happened in front of him and I stayed. Please don't tolerate what you're enduring. You're love for your baby should be unconditional and shouldn't waiver on whether or not you're with the father. Please please please just consider putting yourself and baby first. ❤️

The women here are right. Speaking from experience, it is so hard to leave these situations or confront the issue. I know it can be scary out of fear of what your partner may say or do. Stay strong and know you are not alone. Feel free to reach out. You have a support system here with all of us. The first step, dont be afraid to ask for help. You and baby come first ❤️

Honestly, this stuff is entering into abusive territory. If you don't have the resources to leave, tell your doctor what has been happening. Even just read them this post. They can connect you with people who can help

You don't have to confront him at all

Leave him ASAP ! I was in the same situation with my sperm donor but his child was not as disobedient… but for the sake of your well-being, safety and health ! you have to do what’s best for your baby ! If he loves you and really cares he’ll know to get his shit together before it’s too late but at this point it’s toxic and not gonna get better I pray you heal in all the areas you feel broken ! But just remember you’re never alone with that baby sitting under your heart ! You got this mommas 🤞🏽🤍🤍 your almost half baked love do what’s best for you and your baby .

Try to find social services in your area to get some emotional support. I know you must be struggling so much to keep it together and you are so strong to deal with all of this during your pregnancy. Consider moving to be closer to your family, reach out to them for help and get yourself in a healthy environment for you and your baby.

I agree with everyone else. And I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If there is any way you can move to be close to your family, with their support, I bet you could be much happier raising this baby on your own. I think you could be happier on your own even without family support, actually. This guy sounds like he is making things harder on you rather than easier! ❤️

I promise you leaving is going to make you feel so much better, and it will hurt a little bit. But this will definitely be a better situation for you if you just go.

I'll be your baby zaddyyy!!

Hey girl I would say if you have the funds maybe move into your own space for a while. I think this independence will make you feel a lot better. Or visit your mom for a month. Especially since u work online. Don’t feel pressured to be in a situation that’s depressing you where your babysitting his bad ass little kid and your bf is being an asshole. Girl get up and go and take some time for yourself. You need to show him that your not dependent on him as much as he and his kid would like to do so. And you can always come back! But please try and consider what I’m saying.

I would leave and try to stay with your mom or sister, might be best to be in another state until he can hopefully get his shit together 😞 I’m so sorry you’re going through that, nobody deserves that.

You have control and don’t know it! You have a vehicle to get away when you can leave for a week and see if he gets his stuff together. Honestly I’d terminate my lease and get my own….put your foot down and stand on what you want to happen

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