Boyfriend borderline hates me

Why do I think he’s got borderline personality disorder 🥴

@Jessa he says he thinks he's bipolar but refuses to get checked

Bipolar is more like having episodes that last for days to weeks whereas BPD mood swings are moment to moment, maybe even hours. Either way they’re both pretty detrimental disorders to live with without proper treatment. It affects their relationships significantly and if he’s not willing to get any help… then I guess you just have to ask yourself if it’s worth sticking around with him considering how he’s treating you. You can only do so much to help someone, right? And remember, your daughter is watching.

@Jessa I get it and I appreciate you saying that. It fucking sucks. I love him so much but a part of me is so mad at him for all of this. Even if it's not his fault it kind of is. I'm truly questioning if this relationship is worth crying myself to sleep every night because he's being mean over nothing

I hear you :( It’s so so hard. And it’s like you want to see things turn around but at the same time you’re unsure if it’s a good idea in the long run. The unknown is truly frightening and it’s okay if you’re unsure what to do. Give yourself some grace, focus on yourself and your daughter for now, and maybe just let this wave ride and revisit it when he’s in a more stable mood to talk. Maybe even write a detailed letter to him explaining your point of view and your willingness to understand his perspective.

Not sure I’d want to put up with that tbh. I’d probably be making arrangements to leave if it were me.

There are a lot of red flags here... Sounds like this might be him showing his true colours. He's lovebombed you and now set in with the gaslighting. I'd be very wary about trying to "fix" this.

Red flag get out quickly before your daughter witnesses any mental abuse x

Oh I’m so sorry. This sounds awful for you and your daughter. It very much sounds like the end of the relationship. He’s pretty much telling you that but hasn’t got the balls to use the actual words. For yours and your baby’s sake I would start the process of getting him out of there or finding somewhere else for you…whatever is most appropriate in your situation. This isn’t a relationship. He’s showing you no love or respect. Be strong. You’ve got this ❤️

Even if he does have mental health issues, this is not on you to fix or tiptoe around. It sounds very abusive and abnormal. When people say how they feel believe them. Don't let him treat you like this, your a queen and deserve to be treated as so. You did all that for him and he treated you like that?

@Katie when I got up this morning I asked him about it. I asked if he was over the relationship and just hasn't had the courage to tell me. His response was "I already told you I need time to decide" then told me I'm exhausting him by asking so much

@Elizabeth I'm so tired. I love him so much and feel so blind sided. For Father's day I got him a cake and card. He did nothing for mothers day. For his birthday I threw him a surprise party. For mine I had to ask for a cake. He's mad for things he never told me and now he's giving up our relationship without even trying. I feel like an idiot for still being in love with him and crying so much

Your not an idiot, sounds like your a very caring person. He doesn't sound very worthy of that atm. Don't chase any man, especially not someone who's intentionally being so mean. You want someone who values you and your relationship. I know it hurts, but you need to hold it together and push through with some self respect. I mean that in the gentlest way. A healthy relationship he would be talking to you and communicating. He won't communicate and makes you feel like walking on egg shells. Please understand a man who loves you won't treat you so poorly. I sincerely wish you the best.

Run for the hills, if not for you, for your daughter.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Tons of great advice above ❤️ stay strong, mama

Well done for talking to him about it. It must be really difficult. He’s not showing you any live at all. In fact the opposite. He’s treating you worse than I would treat someone I didn’t particularly like. You’re worth so much better than this. I promise you if you love someone, you dont treat them this way. You honestly don’t. This is still a fairly new relationship as well. You should still be in the honeymoon stage loving life and enjoying each others company in the first year!! Relationships shouldn’t be this difficult and upsetting. Think about what you want and deserve. Think about what your child deserves. Im not one for straight away saying leave…he’s no good. But he’s giving you all the signs he’s not into this relationship and he’s dragging you along until he says those words. It’ll be hard at first but you’ll be so much happier without him.

This is really unhealthy for you and for your child. You are not secure and happy, you are trying to recreate what you used to have while he acts increasingly callous towards you and your child watches in the background. He is manipulating you and creating a scarcity in himself so you will jump at the chance to have the “prize” so please don’t. Ask him to leave and go work through his issues separately from you. If you think he has a serious condition and isn’t treated for it, why have that around your child? He is adding no value to your life right now.