Boyfriend called me dumb and stupid, now won’t apologize and insists he’s right

My boyfriend called me dumb and stupid a day ago because my hands were full walking from the car and when I tried to also balance my son (3 years old) in my other arm I must’ve bumped back into my boyfriend, causing him to spill his drink on his white shoes. We got inside and he raised his voice saying I ruined his new shoes and that I’m dumb for not listening to him about leaving stuff in the car. I told him not to call me those names and don’t raise your voice especially in front of my son, he refused to listen and I got the silent treatment for a few hours. Today I tried to tell him how what he said hurt my feelings, and I apologized for ruining his shoes, but his reaction was not okay. He said if I bought him new shoes that he would apologize. He said that I do dumb stuff all the time and that it’s getting annoying and he won’t talk about this anymore. Since this conversation he is now ignoring me and it’s making me feel like I did something wrong. I apologized and I only wanted him to know I’m not okay with being yelled at and called names. How am I supposed to handle this situation?

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Name-calling is a form of verbal abuse. You are in an abusive relationship. These type of men rarely ever change. As the lady above said - it’s time to leave. Also what he’s doing with silent treatment is called stonewalling and again, the people who do this often are fucked at their core due to childhood trauma and inflict this on others. He’s unlikely to ever change his behaviour so think about your child and how it will affect him. Growing up hearing him call you vile names and being given the silent treatment for when he does normal kid behaviour. Your child will be mentally scarred. If you had an accident which caused him to ruin his shoes, it’s called a fucking ACCIDENT. His response to what you did was uncalled for and ridiculous. You certainly don’t need to buy him new shoes 🤦🏽‍♀️ Stop apologising and focus on making a plan to get out.

Yeah, nah, goodbye. Already have one 3 year old on your hands.

I would figure out a way to leave. And tell him or leave a note and tell him the only dumb thing you did was waste time on a relationship with him. Because you can do better! And shoes can be cleaned, or replaced like he should be.

Leave

There’s only one answer, and you know that.

@Jackie O. I know, I just needed to read everyone’s thoughts 🥲😂

Lol I feel you girl! Do what’s best for you guys because he won’t change and there are soo many other fish in the sea! ✨

I only read the headline. Leave

Wow big big red flags big!!!!!!!

@Sabrina Ramirez somehow he’s 35 😩

What he’s doing is not okay. Firstly, accidents happen - you don’t tear your partner a new one over a bit of spilled drink on a damn shoe. Second, he should never EVER be calling his partner names, especially in front of his child. And thirdly, freezing you out, refusing to accept an apology and basically being a massive dick over a pair of shoes is just downright childish. He needs to grow the fuck up. I suggest giving him some time and space to reconsider his behaviour. For example, a motel room or on a friend’s couch.

@Sharon fortunately we don’t live together and my son isn’t his child, but they’re so attached to eachother it makes it harder

Omg he isn't even your child's father, if you don't end this you're as dumb as he is

Quit apologizing to this goof. He sounds like a dick. I’d suggest peacing out while you can. You’re too amazing to be with someone like that.

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