Dealing with loss as due date approaches. (Edward’s and pataus syndrome)

*TW* mention of bleeding, loss and existing children* Hi everyone. I’m really sorry that this will be such a long post but I wanted to write my story down so I thought I would share it here to see if anyone has any advice or has had a similar experience. I found out I was pregnant on the 28th of June 2023 with my third baby after having two healthy and relatively straight forward pregnancies I was elated. My third baby was very much planned, loved and wanted. Fast forward to 6 weeks pregnant I began spotting. I went straight to a&e. They scanned me the next day, I was pregnant with twins, there were two fetal poles but only one baby was viable and had a heartbeat. My dates all added up and they found a subchorionic hematoma. They assured me this would resolve on its own and not to worry. I was scheduled for a rescan for two weeks later. I bled for the full two weeks. I went back for the scan and was told I had one healthy baby and that the second would naturally be absorbed. Of course I was devastated but so happy to have one healthy baby. In the following weeks I bled on and off. Sometimes passing clots. This lead to me being scanned multiple times. Each time being told there was nothing to worry about and baby was growing as expected and that the hematoma was no longer visible. They couldn’t explain why I was still bleeding and told me that ‘these things sometimes happen’. Fast forward again to my 12w scan. Baby wouldn’t move and was curled in a ball the entire time so measurements couldn’t be taken. I went back the following week and they were able to get when they needed. The NT measure was normal at 1.4mm but my baby was measuring almost two weeks behind in growth. I pushed and pushed but was always told ‘we are right and accurate. Your dates will be off’. I went to have the 12 week screening blood tests done as normal. 5days later I got a phone call to say that my baby had tested 1in2 chance of having edwards or Patau syndrome. I also had a pappA reading of 0.05. I was absolutely devastated, I felt like my whole world was caving in. I went for the NIPT blood test. Waiting for those result was the worst time of my life. Knowing that those results would determine the future of my family was killing me. My bleeding stopped at 14 weeks. I took this as a good sign. We got the call with our results and was told that they had came back as LOW RISK for all three trisomy’s. This was the best feeling in the world. We celebrated as a family and I finally relaxed. We bought our baby’s pram and crib and I began feeling comfortable to show off my bump. I was just so happy. We all were. I woke up early morning on the day of turned 16weeks. I was bleeding. I went to the hospital to be checked. They got out the Doppler but couldn’t find anything ( I knew they wouldn’t I just had a feeling my baby was gone). The doctor came to scan me and sat on the bed by my legs while he checked. I felt my legs shaking against his back the longer he looked without speaking to me. He didn’t show me the screen. He rubbed his eyes and put the machine down and said the worst sentence I’ve ever heard ‘im sorry but your baby has died’. I screamed in that room with a stranger stroking my hair. I screamed ‘no’ over and over again. I calmed down enough for a second doctor to confirm the death. They let me watch this time. Cutting the next bits short my daughter Melody was born the 7th of October 2023 at 3:30am 16w1d gestation. I still don’t have answers to what happened I’m waiting for test results from biopsies taken. The doctor came to see me the next morning to ask if he could meet my baby. After meeting her he told me that he feels there were chromosomal abnormalities as she looked quite unwell and he development was a bit all over. I’m so sorry this is such a long post and thank you if you have made it this far. I don’t know why I’m posting this but I just needed to post something somewhere and after reading some other stories in this page it felt like a safe space to do so. I just need somewhere i could talk about her because I know people around me don’t want to hear it. I can sense the mood in a room shift whenever I mention her name and it kills me. I’m based in the uk if anyone wants to reach out and share experiences or even just to talk about our babies I would absolutely love that. Thank you for reading 💕