TRIGGER WARNING - cheating

My fiancé and I recently separated as while on a work trip, I was unfaithful. I am having such a hard time, because yes, I did sleep with someone else - HOWEVER, I was extremely drunk and feel I was taken advantage of. He is higher up in the company whereas I am at a much lower level. Multiple times I told him I was engaged and he came back saying he was in an open relationship. I remember leaving the bar, but don’t remember getting back to the hotel, riding the elevator to his room, and initiating anything. What I do remember is the roughness of it, and falling over atleast 4 times in the act. I then remember waking up in his room as he was throwing me my phone to put his number in. I woke up covered in bruises and my hair matted up. How do I 1- deal with the guilt I feel for blowing up my relationship and 2- get over the fact that I am 80% sure I was raped.. and finally 3- deal with seeing this person at upcoming work events. I can’t bring it up to my boss as when it initially happened I told her it wasn’t anyone from the company, and that it was consensual…

Show your support

If you feel as though you were taken advantage of wouldn’t that change things for your fiance? Did you tell him about the bruises and memory loss?

@Elizabeth I did, but I only realized this myself after going to therapy after a month of being separated. He also found some texts from me to the other guy and believes I was trying to start an affair when in reality I was so confused about what had just happened. I am not and have never been a one night stand girl…

That’s hard. I’m sorry

@Elizabeth thanks. It’s been stressful as my entire life has been uprooted.

@DAYSH honestly it was back in April, and I don’t see this person often. I don’t want to go through the hassle because it’s my word against his, and I’m not even 100% sure it could be considered SA. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like I was taken advantage of. However I don’t believe he slipped anything in my drink.. I just drank too much. I have a therapist and have been meeting with her regularly. My (ex)fiancé knows everything I remember, however it took me almost a month to open up to him about it after he found out.

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌