ocd and anxiety rant

Unfortunately this is something I can relate to. Literally to the T. I have no advice to give as i’m still going through this but you’re not alone. Praying it gets better for us🫶🏽

I agree with your therapist! I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD and Anxiety. And tomorrow we will be seeing about OCD as well. I still definitely get into my head from time to time but I realized once I started sharing those thoughts they weren’t as frequent or as bad! Just someone you’re comfortable being able to vent to! My messages are always open to vent!

I'm just about to start therapy myself, I mean I've been on waiting lists for every step but hopefully soon I'll actually start. I feel the same as you, though not diagnosed with anything. It really feels like you're bending over backwards just to get their needs met and even when you have a second you've got to shut down cuz you're too exhausted to take care of yourself, or you get in your head and time just disappears and you've got to be supermum again. Feels like you're working your ass off just to feel like you're not failing, but you fail at that too.

@Destiny yes girl i also have ptsd and i guess it’s easily combined with ocd

@Elizabeth I definitely know that feeling but I was told for my sanity I need to be able to do stuff for myself. They wanted me just to I guess ignore the baby while I did something for myself but I cannot it would do the opposite of help. But I did realize in the morning my girlfriend will take over doing things for the baby and I’ll read a book, shower, nap, get ready! Whatever I want to do I take just a few hours before she leaves to work just for me! So I’d just try to step away and let your baby’s other parent or grandparent take over getting the baby ready in the morning or taking over bedtime and have that be your mommy time! It’s hard at first but then you realize that little break helps!

Sadly it is all combined/triggered by trauma

@Destiny I live alone with my baby, so what I described above is what happens in my worst times (I feel like my general mood has defined ups and downs for periods of time), but in my best or when I'm trying to pull myself out of a rut, I make sure there's literally a 10 minute window in the morning where even if I'm not going out that day, baby is in his high chair with toys in the hallway, where he can see mickey mouse clubhouse but also see me in the bathroom making sure I wash my face, brush my teeth, brush my hair, some days use a little dry shampoo, change my clothes, just feel a little more human, and when he goes to bed I do a quick cleanup of the house and then have some time to myself, to read, watch something, play games, paint, etc. Something for me. And on days I shower it's always after he goes to bed or when I have somebody over to watch him while I do so. Sometimes it's hard to do anything but sit there and rot/ruminate, but I'm trying my best.

@Destiny it's also hard at the moment where he's extra clingy and doesn't want to sleep anywhere but on me or in the pushchair on a walk, so I have to remind myself he's just a little baby and I'll be able to put him down soon but for now I should enjoy the cuddles.