Boundaries after birth

Need to vent for a second. For those who already have kids, how soon did you let family meet your baby in person? I just got into an argument with my mother because she made a comment about having to ‘wait until the baby can walk’ to see him. All I said was that I would need a few days after delivery to see how I’m feeling and bond with the baby before inviting anyone to visit. This is my first child by the way. It really upset me. I expressed that this is my life and my choice, and I will let family know when I’m ready. Was I overreacting, or do you agree with me? I’ve been stress-free throughout this pregnancy and intend to keep it that way. I’m proud of myself for standing up for my wishes, but I can’t get past how entitled she feels to be part of my experience on her terms. I’m sure I’ll still be sore and adjusting to being a mom those first days, and I want to do it my way.

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I let my parents and my husband’s parents see my babies right after I had them but everyone else had to wait a month or 2. Do what’s best for you. If people want to cause issues then they can have their wait time extended for all I’d care lol it’s not about them, it’s about you and baby recovering and getting to know each other

You are definitely being reasonable!! I didn’t let my family see my baby till he was almost 2 months 😂 being freshly postpartum is very hard all on its own and learning how to be a mom is stressful. She definitely needs to be more understanding it’s a few days you’re asking for, not a year.

@Mackenzie Thank you!

@Elizabeth Thank you!

Our family live back in Scotland and I’ve had a few comments from others about my mum ‘surely’ being here for the birth, but we’ve actually asked that everyone wait at least 2–3 weeks before visiting. We want to get to adjust to our new life as a family of 3 before having others join. Thankfully our family are very understanding, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time and hope that everyone will see it from your point of view!

@Catherine Thank you!

With my first I had an emergency c section and the dr gave my baby to my sister to hold before I even got to. (She was the only one with me in the OR) The first person he made eye contact with was her and I still feel sad about that. This time around I’m definitely putting together a birth plan where I get skin to skin before anything else. As far as visitors, my other sister came to visit at 2 weeks old and I still felt some type of way not having enough one on one time with my baby. It seems crazy but I did feel jealous when she wanted to hold him, feed him etc. This time around though I’ll definitely need the help with at least one baby since my son is 21 months and still needs me a lot. I’m worried about not being able to pick him up etc. If I had the option I would tell family to wait. I think it’s an important bonding time for both parents. You need to feel comfortable and relaxed and idk about you but my family stresses me out like crazy.

@Ashley Thank you!

Yessss. Stand on how you feel. I told my partner I want the first few hours after my baby is born with no visitors. And after we get home I would again like little to no visitors. Everyone feels I just want to have the baby to myself. Which, yes I do. But I also just want to bond with MY baby and get the kids acclimated without all the extra people and opinions. So I get you and commend you for know what you want.

@Erica Thank you!

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