What's a girl to do.
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So.. I always wanted a big family and then my husband wanted out after having our second.. 11 years later I remarried and we started trying.. ww now have 3 together with a 13 year gap. I'm 44 this month. Your children will grow up and leave and hopefully be there for you as family for life. Hobbies come and go and are not an investment, but you can invest in your children doing them with you eventually.
So everyone is different so we can only share our own experiences ❤️. In our case we had two boys one when I was 29 and the next at 33. I had a really good job which involved travelling the world and eventually I had to leave it as it was too much after the second child was born. I really struggled with finding the old me and I’m going to be honest that I think what actually happened once they went to school was I just evolved - realised the old me was the old me and the new me is slightly different - not inferior or worse just different. Also once the boys were both in school rather than feeling that freedom to be me again I actually started to mourn being mum of a baby/preschooler. So I wonder if you always look back and yearn for the past in some way? Anyway jump forward a few years and I was settled into my new me with one child in junior school and one in infants and we unexpectedly found we were pregnant again and we’ve started over again! So I’ve devolved back into a toddler mum!
It sounds like you're torn and it's normal. It's a big decision to go from 1 to 2 but eventually they do grow up and you can have your life back. I watched a video online the other day and it's more for your son/daughter to have a life companion because once we're gone, who are they going to have in this world? Stop trying so hard and have fun with all the sex. You can even take mucinex to try to get pregnant too or ask for them to assess your tubes and the dye they inject open up your tubes. If it's not successful, then I'd seek out IVF.
I think your feelings are totally valid! Sprinkling some baby dusk your way! If you decide to stop trying to, I’ve found myself pregnant twice that way lol I am pregnant with baby number 4! Half way done at 20 weeks 2 days today! My oldest passed away when he was 2 but he would be 13. My daughter and him were 20 months apart and it was a good age gap. She’s 11 now and my youngest is 4. By the time baby will be here the two younger ones will be 12 and 5. I haven’t had any issues getting pregnant so far so I’m sorry you’re going through that. I would say look into some mom groups around you and try to find yourself again but the new you! After children I have found myself so wrapped up with the first two I didn’t do anything really for myself but now with the youngest in pre k most of the day, I have time to myself and also I can take a nap if I need it and feel like I’m a better mom for them when I feel rested and not all exhausted! I truly enjoy being pregnant and being a mother!
It took me 4 years to get pregnant with my daughter, and I really thought maybe it wasn’t meant to happen (I was 34 when I got pregnant with her). We had to do IVF! Then we didn’t even TRY to have another child yet and I got pregnant only 4 months after she was born. Go figure! Point is that sometimes it happens when you least expect it, or when stop “trying” so hard!