Am I overreacting

So every time my baby has an inconvenience/a cold or any sort of symptom of an illness my mum instantly says that I need to give her Calpol. This absolutely infuriates me. I don’t know why, but it makes me so angry. I feel like it’s an accusation that I’m not looking after her. I’m her mum and I know when I need to give her Calpol so I don’t need to be told that I should be doing it if I don’t think it’s necessary. I just feel like with the comment that I’m not giving her and I’m purposely prolonging any pain she might be in. Baby fell over this morning as she’s trying to walk. My mum instantly said I should give her Calpol. But why? She falls over about 10 times a day at the minute. It just makes me so angry and I don’t know if it’s me. I’ve spoken to my mum before and said that this does upset me and I’d appreciate if she doesn’t bring it up, but she doesn’t respect my boundary.

Show your support

That’s her choice not to respect your boundary. It’s your job to keep setting it. It’s a trap to think that because you’ve already said what your boundary is others will stick to it. There are consequences for crossing boundaries. What are the consequences for your mum in this scenario? I’m not saying it has to be something horrible and drastic and you’ve got to fall out with her, but it needs to be know to her. Also, ‘just give her calpol’ could be a trigger for ‘just shut her up’. Often, instead of offering emotional and physical support to someone who’s hurt people resort to an ‘easy option’ of a pill. It’s a bit like emotional neglect, it implies that only the physical (pain) side is relevant. Your emotions aren’t an overreaction, they are just a reaction and it’s a way for you to discover what it is that lies beneath the initial reaction. If you take a few steps back and don’t interpret your mum’s words as just a criticism of your parenting,you’ll see what it is that hurts you

@Lidia thank you. I just feel like by saying ‘you need to give her calpol’ It makes me feel like I’m not being a good Mum and should’ve given her something to help her, but haven’t. But I’m confident in knowing when she needs something like Calpol. It just frustrates me.

Just ignore her. Giving Calpol all the time actually can put your LO at risk. I would maybe find the list of all things that could happen if you give Calpol. E.g. liver, kidney and heart damage. You are being an amazing mum and protecting your child from harm. ❤️ P.s no matter how many times they fall they do not need Calpol.

I only ever give calpol when my little one has a temp or is teething but that’s a last resort for teething. I’ve given calpol this week for hand foot and mouth but otherwise I only give it as a last resort for things x

No you’re not and I know what you mean as my mum is the same! Infuriating.

People seem to think calpol is a miracle cure for babies and should be used for everything, its paracetamol! Would we as adults take paracetamol for a runny nose, no, if we bang our elbow on the door, no.

It’s just a generational clash I think. Our parents generation gave calpol like it was water! You’re doing the right thing so don’t second guess yourself. I personally don’t use calpol, I prefer the liquid neurofen (but it’s a last resort) Calpol has so many awful e numbers in it and one in particular is actually banned in the US! It’s really bad for our babies x

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