Just need to let it all out.

This is going to be long, sorry! For aslong as I can remember, i’ve been anxious. I’ve tried everything over the years to help it but nothing has ever worked. The last few years i’ve suffered really bad health anxiety. This has now moved onto worrying about my baby. I can’t enjoy her because i’m constantly worried theres something wrong with her. It is so draining. I also have OCD. I clean my hands constantly, i clean my babies hands alot, her toys, dummies etc. I know its unhealthy but I can’t stop. I’m terrified of her getting ill. I won’t take her to a baby class because i’m scared of her getting ill from it. I’m very picky about who I see and who see’s her. Nobody is allowed to kiss her. I have no friends and the people I do have, i always make excuses because i’m scared she’ll catch something. This is not helping me either because i’m so loney! I started counselling a few weeks ago so i’m hoping that will help. My life is literally a mess and I have hardly anyone to share any of this with and to talk to.