Opinions (holiday season with little one)
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Your son will benefit from any meaningful celebration, whether it’s Christmas, a Buddhist holiday, or something your ex decides to introduce. He doesn’t need to celebrate everything—just the ones that hold value for the people sharing them with him. celebrations, led with care and intention, than for you to take on something that feels forced. Trust yourself, and keep doing what feels right for both you and your little one. ❤️
Your ex can celebrate whatever they want at their house and you can celebrate whatever you want at your house. However i suspect your ex just doesn’t want you doing fun things so that they don’t look like the ‘boring’ parent when they don’t do anything
@Anisha ♡ yeah you see last year he was only 6 months old and we had already broken up and I wanted her out, she claimed she wanted to celebrate the holiday season with our son before she left and even though that kind of implied she wanted to do something during that time she did absolutely nothing! I was the one that bought our son a Hanukkah outfit but otherwise she did literally nothing during that period to celebrate anything with him! I said to her this year if she wanted to get him 8 days of gifts instead of give all the gifts on one day then that’s fine and completely up to her, but despite me saying this, she seems like she has decided she won’t be doing anything but getting him 1 gift on one day.. I’m sure it was just something to say as she said she wasn’t prepared to do Christmas with him, as she was going to do Hanukkah with him.. The truth is, if she didn’t have literally 1 present ready for 2 day then she sure as hell didn’t have 8 for 8 different days🙄
And no, she never once tried to do anything for the faith she claimed to be but then keeps trying to impose it on our son! Said how she wanted him to be circumcised because she was Jewish! I put my foot down on altering my son’s body for a faith he isn’t part of and she only picks it up when convenient to her!
@Jessica I agree, I asked her yesterday why she keeps being cryptic over this whole holiday season like she wants to say something but just isn’t?! She said she wasn’t and still said nothing about expecting me to do her faiths stuff even though she had said certain things in the time leading to this! Then she ended it saying she doesn’t care what he celebrates as long as she is there! I was the one that asked if she was coming over, but there was never a mention of her coming on that day until I said it, so it’s funny now she is saying it’s fine as long as SHE is there! I’m just glad the Buddhist celebration I wanted to do (Bodhi day) is on the 8th and she won’t be here then so I can celebrate what means the most to me with just my son😊
Hey mama, i think you’re right to feel that the responsibility for celebrating Hanukkah—or any holiday that reflects her beliefs—shouldn’t fall on you, especially if she hasn’t shown consistent effort in honoring or teaching those traditions herself. You’re not obligated to take on traditions that you don’t personally practice, understand, or believe in—especially ones your ex hasn’t consistently valued herself. If your ex wants your son to celebrate Hanukkah or other Jewish holidays, the responsibility should fall on her to facilitate those experiences. It’s perfectly reasonable for you to focus on the traditions you wish to celebrate while leaving space for her to celebrate hers. You can gently reiterate: “If you’d like him to celebrate Hanukkah or other traditions, I fully support you putting the effort into sharing those moments with him. It’s not something I practice, and I think it’s best if it comes from you.”