Grandma inlaw is a nightmare...
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I kinda feel ya! I ask every single gift giving for 5 years to be stocks and shares for their future. Not a single person has listened :(
@Hopeful I'll definitely put the stuff thats not age appropriate away for time being! I haven't really spoken to my husband about what I think of the gifts though and I'm not sure he sees it the way I do and I don't want him to think I have an issue with his grandma because by treating her gifts differently and I also don't want him to think I'm ungrateful by calling them cheap tat! 🤦♀️😂 I just really wish she would listen, I felt certain that she did this time and that she was on board! 😕
@Van it's annoying isn't it.. that's a such a good idea aswell and it baffles me why they wouldn't be onboard with it! My grandma inlaw and MIL hate giving money.. they absolutely hate it! "It doesn't feel like a present" apparently.. If they do they gift money they always have to give "something to open" aswell and it winds me up! I said if they was insistent on "something to open" buy her some pyjamas or a little outfit.. but it's not good enough to them, it HAS to be toys! I do get it, it's nice to give something fun but they can't just buy 1 decent, safe and age appropriate toy, it's several badly made and questionable ones! 🤦♀️
My MIL does this it’s so annoying. She gets things off TikTok as well 🤦🏽♀️ and she insists that our 11 month old can play with 6+ toys I’m like no and she goes it’s ok just let her play with it. She got me a crib off Amazon when I was pregnant … didn’t ask what I wanted and didn’t tell me either … Just got it like surprise! I was so angry u don’t even understand I just left that thing on our door step till my hubby got home and brought it in 😂😂😂
@Krupha whaaat that's crazy! Why are these women so stupid and ignorant to safety!? 😫 Oh no, that would annoy me so much, I would have left it on the doorstep too 😂😂 My grandma inlaw would get really upset and angry with us when I was pregnant, every time we bought something big like the bedroom furniture she would act like we was being really unfair "you never let me buy anything!" We was like.. well its our baby, its our job to buy the things we need? We were excited and she was there trying to somehow make it about her 🤦♀️ She kept telling me "I want to buy you this.." and telling me about a fullsize changing unit with a bath on that she expected me to keep DOWNSTAIRS! 😬 "it'll be real easy for you, you won't have to go upstairs to bath her.. all my lot had them!" ... yeah no thank you, I must have had to tell her about 10 times that we didnt want one nor did we have the room for one! 🥴
It’s the “all my lot had them” like ughhhhhh I wanna punch her in the face sometimes 😂😂😂 yes but this is not ur lot it’s my lot of babies so I’ll do what I want. First babies are special I mean all are but it’s your first time doing the nursery, finding a crib and planning out your baby’s arrival and it just annoys me. I understand it’s her first grandkid but this just teaches me what not to do when I have my first grandkid 😂😅 I’m sure they must have felt this way too so why don’t they think
I really really wanted to kick the crib down the stairs but I just ended up crying with all my pregnancy hormones 🙈
@Krupha I hear that phrase ALOT 🙃 When she was buying for her grandkids, vtech was obviously the in brand at the time because she's obsessed with it. We let her buy LO a baby walker for her 1st Christmas and we picked one out and it wasn't good enough when she first looked because she was trying to sway us to a vtech one, she actually said "this one is better though its vtech.. all my lot had vtech!" 🥴 she was very hands on in my husbands upbringing and she wants our LO to have alot of what he had and do the things he did.. its sweet and I get it but sometimes it's too much, it should be enough that she's her daddy's double, she doesn't need to have everything he had and do everything he did 😂 I've definitely learnt how NOT to grandparent from these experiences! 😂 It baffles me that these women being mums themselves will still overstep and hurt us.. surely they understand what its like already!?
I could’ve written this myself 😅🤣!! Last year my husband and I moved into a house while I was 6 months pregnant. We told everyone we were trying to keep the house minimal and didn’t want any extra clutter. I was 8 months pregnant by Christmas time last year and my MIL came to the house with a BIN FULL of cheap Tj Maxx Christmas shit for the house. Including $5 ornament sets, cheap tablecloth, cheap decor, cheap cheap cheap everything 😭😫!!! The worst part is, she will cry if we throw anything out!!! It’s like a personal offense to her lmao. But, I was wAY too pregnant to give a damn and I threw half of the stuff away. I’m sure she will get my baby a bunch of cheap junk for Christmas , I’m dreading it already , but fully prepared to throw most of it away even if it bothers her. From now on I am going to ask family to ONLY buy experiences, clothes, or investments for baby. Like a gift card to the zoo! Or the aquarium! Or a baby gymnastics class! Or rain boots! Sledding tickets!
@Claire that’s a good idea the experience thing! Mine is still 11 months old so we’ve not really done the zoo or aquarium yet but we’ve been meaning to. So I’ll try asking for that instead 😂 U should see the pile of stuff I just threw away even some of the clothes is like so cheap the material feels off and I can’t imagine wearing it myself so why would I put my kid in it 😂 I know what u mean tho it’s terrible she turned up with all that stuff especially when you’re probably deep in your nesting phase. 😓 mine cried one time because she didn’t see my daughter for a week 😑😑😑 I’m the hormonal one I should be crying cuz I have to see u three times a week 😂 but that’s a whole other conversation I could literally talk about this for hours 🙈
Oh gosh, I feel this, I dread birthdays, Christmas, Easter, Halloween - everything - because my MIL is insistent on bringing constant crap into our house. SIL is similar but she has to buy 'status' items - big toy cars/trikes/toy prams that have to stay outside and get ruined because there's no space inside. We live (me, OH, our 2y5m old and 15m girls) in a 1 bed granny annexe which is basically an extended and converted garage that we rent off of my OH great aunt and uncle who spend 6m here and 6m in their home country. Over summer MIL/SIL can use their living room/bedroom when they visit. The stress MIL was getting in the day before they got home because of trying to tidy up and I just wanted to say 'well, if you and your daughter didn't bring the girls so much unnecessary stuff there wouldn't be so much to tidy away. We're just waiting for completion on the house we're buying to go through and I'll be implementing a strict one in/one out toy system as I cannot deal with all the shit any more.
@Clara oh wow that sounds rough! Fingers crossed its not much longer before you're in your own home! It's really difficult though isn't it.. I'm constantly "telling them off" that's how they see it anyway, but I'm endlessly explaining how I hate having to throw things away.. I HATE going to the tip and watching how much crap people throw away, why are we still buying junk that doesn't last and chucking it in landfill in a matter of weeks!? 😫 They just see it as me being mean and not letting them buy things. Grandma inlaw is a nightmare she turns up with a gift almost every time she visits.. I don't mind little treats like colouring books and new pens, small craft items that get used up and enjoyed.. but a few weeks ago she walked in with a big swimming baby doll!? I'm sorry but wtf? 😂 that's not a treat, that's a full blown Christmas present! I hate people thinking I'm just being unfair or ungrateful, but we're the ones who have to house all this junk! 🤦♀️
It's so annoying - my OH said we have a list of suggestions of what we'd like them to get the girls for Christmas but mainly money for their bank accounts and SILdidnt like that one bit. He said, ok, but only something small, nothing big as we don't have the space and it's only something extra to pack away and that if they want to to wait until we're settled and to get something for Christmas for then (my girls don't understand Christmas yet so won't be fussed by the date) . SIL lives in their home country so every time she visits she brings things because she doesnt see them much and MIL, like your grandma-in-law bri GS something nearly every time she comes which is almost every weekend. Yes, colouring pens and books and reading books I don't mind either as they love them but random crap that breaks after a few uses I just don't understand. Completely agree with the tip part - I feel so guilty when ours ends up there but what else can we do with it when we specifically ask not to buy stuff. 😔
We have a great aunt like this. We have tried to engage her and explain and guide, but she does her own thing for our kid and for us every single time. Her choice, her money wasted. Used to drive me crazy, but decided trying to influence those who won’t be is a waste of my energy. As mum to my kid, my job is to keep him safe, well and to make decisions about what’s best for him. I clear out after Christmas and birthday anything that is not serving us well. Choking hazards are stored away or cleared out. Cheap tat, donated or binned if I don’t feel it’s safe. Thankfully, she hasn’t asked or noticed. But if she did, my stick answer would be -‘LO will play with it when it’s age appropriate’ or ‘That’s not safe because of ……, so we decided not to let them play with it’. Even better to get your partner to deal with it as it’s their side of the family.