Baby meeting boundaries

How are you guys setting boundaries with families when they come visit you and baby? I am just wondering as Christmas is near and I’m sure family wants to meet babies etc..
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Tell them beforehand that you don't want anyone kissing the baby etc

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/over-half-of-uk-parents-unaware-of-risk-kissing-poses-to-newborns/ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/neonatal-herpes/ There's all kinds of nasties around

Also, your will is way, it's your baby. Maybe make a little list to send people before they come over so they can prepare

Immediate family only until we say so; no spontaneous popping round; no strong perfumes; you can only come over if you do something helpful in the house 😹 (unwritten but will definitely be implemented…) And as @Dominique quite rightly says, have the conversation now! It doesn’t have to be aggressive or combative, just as an “FYI” list that you can send out in a positive, we’re all excited but here’s what we ask of you as our support network kind of way x

Thanks @Dominique and @Jess my question is also how many immediate family ? Like in laws okay but her cousins no ? Also should I expect cousins parents to teach their kids ? I’m asking because baby will be 3 weeks old according to due dates and I don’t wanna say no for them to coming over but don’t want any germs and flu person around her.. as she won’t have any vaccines etc.. Any tips to make them understand or middle ground ? Personally mine is simple as 1.if have cold and flu symptoms sorry but not welcome 2.pls disinfect or wash hands before touching baby. 3. No kissing anywhere of baby.

I guess my benefit here, is that most of my family lives abroad. And my MIL is staying with us for the first 3 weeks of baby arrival, so that's likely either just before or after Xmas. I won't be participating in any large gatherings this year

But after that, I can drip feed my visitors

We’ve just got our parents, plus one sibling (and their other half) each and one small cousin - he’ll be 1.5 years - on the immediate list. How many is ultimately up to you and what you’re comfortable with. Absolutely agree on zero illness policy around baby, and I’d have hand sanitizer etc available and out when people come round; really it’s up to cousins parents to be the ones to implement the boundaries (last thing you need is to be parenting other people’s children when you’ve just had a baby…) but you can make it clear in your communication prior.

Thank you so much for your insight !!!!

I just spoke with brother’s wife and she totally gets where I am coming from so I’m feeling at ease now ☺️

I'm going to be telling family and friends our boundaries before baby arrives. They may need reminding upon meeting baby due to excitement though.

I’d call the mom of each family unit & talk to them about your concerns as a new mom. Let them know you found some guidelines you’ll share to help keep the baby safe & you not feeling anxious. Ask them to help you by educating the family & evaluating illness etc. If there’s one person in the group you trust enough to delegate this to then go ahead & ask them to take care of it. This comes from experience of being a caretaker for 4 years. Hope you have a lovely Christmas with you baby & whatever that means for the rest of them. ♥️

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