turning to Christ but also feeling so much guilt and shame about my past

Hi girls! Soooo I have recently converted to Christianity, I was raised with two moms(ofc I still speak with them and love them immensely) and I wasn’t raised with any religion and was kinda always taught that Christianity condemned my family and my moms lifestyle so I felt like I had to choose either God or my moms. Long story short I struggled with porn addiction after a friend showed it to me in 5th grade, I abused alcohol and marijuana A LOT until just recently and before I was married I was very promiscuous and hated that part of myself. Now what I’m struggling with is giving myself grace and trying to be kinder to myself about my past. I know I messed up. The thing I struggle the most with is all of the sexual immorality of my past, I was SA when I was 16 and after that sex completely lost its meaning and I slept around. I guess I could just use some advice on how to forgive myself for coping with my sexual trauma in such harmful ways because I really really wish I had waited until marriage and I FELT and still feel so deeply the ways in which sex outside marriage hurt my heart and soul. It has really left a stain on my spirit. It still hurts even though I’ve only been with my husband for almost 3 years now. I know God still loves me and forgives me because I have repented and obviously yanno I’m only in covenant with my husband now but…. This guilt is eating me alive :(((

Show your support

I know the feeling . When you pray next time pray that God helps you forgive yourself 💕 that’s what I do . Sometimes i still have flash backs of my past but i thank God for saving me from my sin . The enemy is going to use your past against you , but pray it off and be kind to yourself. You’re more than your past🥰

Hi there Bianca!! Thank you so much for sharing your testimony and reaching out to sisters in Christ for help. I was SA when I was 13 and I had pain from that trauma until last year when I accepted Jesus in my heart. The only One who really has the power to HEAL you is God!! I am super excited for you being a child of God now! It’s a process but you will receive your healing ❤️‍🩹 you have to continue to abide in Christ. Seek in person friendships with fellow sisters in Christ. Have those hard conversations with God, cry it out with Him and ask Him for healing. Continue reading the Word of God and lean in closer to God. If you haven’t already, forgive the one who abused you. Truly forgive, think about how long eternity is. Think about Gods LOVE and Grace over you. Think about Gods will - That NO ONE will perish but all come to everlasting life. ❤️‍🔥 I am glad that you still talk to your moms, you will be the light in their life and simply by the Love of Christ you will win them over.

Continued..lol.. When you win them over they can come to God how they are and be transformed by His AMAZING GRACE!!! 🕊️

You are so amazing Bianca. What a powerful testimony. Remember Psalm 103:12. I experienced SA in my youth as well. I fell into sin as well afterwards. I had to learn to view myself the way God views me and he has separated us from our sin. He died for us knowing what we would do. He still loves us despite our past. You are no longer some who is held by sin but you conquered it through Christ. God helped us to be free from sin so now when I look at my past I see how powerful he is. Give God praise each time you think of it. Take authority over your life. Claim freedom from guilt. Your testimony is going to help so many other people. I am so grateful to have you as a sister in Christ. You got this!

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌