Gifting
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We were worried about this because my MIL loves to buy a mound of presents for her kids, their spouses, and now grandkid. We expressed we really didn’t want more than 4. She actually stuck to it and to our list of ideas. She does a stocking for everyone so he gets three of those but she does say it came from Papa and Nona vs Santa. I think it needs a consequence you are willing to enforce for any change to happen. Could you compromise on the grandparents gifting a few smaller gifts? So they can still buy a couple things? (You don’t have to do this and your boundary is perfectly ok too)
@brook some people go overboard with how many gifts they give. Not all parents want that many or want it to overshadow the parents as it’s their turn to be Santa.
I FEEL you. Although my daughter is 3yo (so our third Xmas) and I just don’t care anymore. Not a battle I want to fight anymore. I gave suggestions if ppl don’t follow them 🤷🏼♀️ off to be donated. The Santa thing… yeah that needs to be a convo… but if Santa stopped at their house too oh well. But I get it you want the traditions with your son. Maybe try to look at it like your son is enjoying it all so whatever. Your feelings are 100% valid, I just don’t think it’s a fight to be won, and it’s all from a place of love, maybe you can pair down and donate toys before more and possibly after Xmas. ALSO next year or birthday you can tell everyone you want experiences like muesum and zoo memberships, gift cards for places your family enjoys, with 1 small gift.
@brook exactly what I’m thinking
Imagine have family (parents, uncles or in laws) who never buy gifts for your child because yes there are people like that out there but ok your child your boundaries!
Ok wow didn’t mean to offend anyone, of course I’m delighted they love him and want to give him gifts but for me I don’t want him spoiled, don’t want or have room for all the toys and don’t want their money wasted when everyone just as happy with one gift.
Thanks for all helpful responses, I’ve tried suggesting experiences but it’s the opening of presents they like to see, hence a large quantity of lower quality things so weren’t interested. I’ve suggested this to other family members who aren’t gifting just for child’s reaction so that should minimise the STUFF too
I 100% understand you! It's crazy how offended people get over this subject.. I totally understand when people say "imagine having family who never buy for your kids" I can see how that's hurtful. But over buying and the desperate NEED for people to buy a huge gift is also very hurtful. For many reasons.. but as parents, your requests being ignored is really chuffing annoying. Grandparents have asked this year and they've all had the same answer "we'd really like the money for her instead, we have limited room in the house at the minute and we'd also like to save the money up for a play house for the garden come summer time. If you're desperate to buy her something to unwrap, new pyjamas are always welcome!" ... Everyone said "oh what a good idea, that's fine!' ... then they start buying stuff regardless 🤦♀️ Hubby showed his grandma the ride on car we've bought our little girl and her response is " well that's not fair, I'm not allowed to buy anything big!" 😑
This year we had to implement the 4 gift rule: something they want, need, wear, and read. Both sets of grandparents took it well. We’ll see how it goes. The last 2 years and birthdays have been a ridiculous amount of stuff. We don’t have room for it all and some of it was straight to donate pile (wrong size or season etc). They have done a good job of using the Amazon list though.
i didn’t realize people had boundaries for how many gifts their kids get. weird imo