No longer sexually attracted to him

I have been with my husband for 6 years and we have been married for 3 years. Sex has always been a bit of an issue in our relationship, im a very sexual person, and he isn't. Whenever we have had sex it's great, but it just didn't happen as often as I would have liked, and I always felt like I was initiating it. We have talked about this many times, I expressed that by me always initiating it made me not feel loved or desired and was impacting my self-confidence. He did try a few times, but to me it felt forced, like he only did it because I made a point of it. There have also been instances when I have asked and he has rejected me, due to being tired or not in the mood. The problem I have now is that we have had a baby and he is 6 months old and since he was born we have not had sex. I have asked if he wants it and he said that he feels uncomfortable having sex with our baby in the room. Fair point, but when I ask if he would feel better if we did it in the spare room when he is asleep would that be better? He agrees, but still have had no sex. It's really starting to get me down now to the point I feel like I'm no longer sexually attracted to him anymore. I feel sad because I love him but I have no desire to be intimate with him, not even want to kiss him let alone have him on me. The thought of it just feels strange to me. I was scared this qould happen to me and did express that it may happen if he keeps rejecting me. What do I do?

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You’ve communicated your feelings several times to your partner and it seems like he hasnt put any effort. Id suggest counseling at the very least as a last resort maybe that’ll help but if that doesnt help its really up to you to decide wether or not this is something you should leave him for. Your happiness matters

@hana I have suggested counselling, but he refuses to go and says that we don't need it and I'm forcing him. I have said I don't feel happy in the marriage to him before and he said that if I kept saying things like that, it would eventually make him leave me.

He refuses to go even if it meant making things better and on top of that dismisses your feelings? Thats awful. I dont think this will ever change mama i know its not easy to leave or maybe its not the decision you want to make now but you deserve to be happy and feel loved! this dude is clearly taking things for granted smh

Just because he doesn't want to go to counseling, doesn't mean you can't. It might be good to talk to someone about your feelings and this big life change you've had.

@hana he has always dismissed my feelings by changing the narrative to him and flipping it back on me saying I'm forcing it and that puts him off. I don't actually know what to do anymore because talking about it seems to make it worse. I don't think I can leave, I wouldn't know where to start or what to do.

@Chelsea I have suggested that I should go before and he said yeah its a good idea and then backtracks and says that it will poison my mind against him and make me leave him.

That sounds super toxic. I would suggest going because it can be really helpful. It can help with communication issues. I've used therapy in the past when I was feeling hurt by my sister and gave me the confidence to reach out and discuss things with her. Now, she was receptive to talking, so that is a huge part of it. I'm trying not to speak negatively of him because I'm just a stranger online, but know that your feelings are valid and that you deserve to feel loved and that asking for counseling is never unreasonable. Especially after a kid! It's such a huge change.

Hey, send me a DM if you want, I'm happy to chat :)

1. Your hormones are still leveling out being pp. 2. He sounds like he has low testosterone, would check into that and how to aid.

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