Anger management

Hi I've been trying to be more curious and understanding of my toddlers big reactions but sometimes I fail to manage my own. My toddler played in the car for 10 minutes and then when I enforced that it was time to sit, she started shrieking and locked her knees in but I wouldn't allow her to step out of the seat... She then yelled 'HUG HUG' with tears and I just didn't feel any empathy, just anger. I removed her and coldly asked 'what's wrong!!?!' without giving the hug she sought,she started crying, I just felt so angry. I took her inside and she continued to cry and asked to be picked up as I walked away- i was still angry. Then I returned after 5 minutes and apologised. Just trying to avoid being so cold when she is seeking comfort because I know it'll cause attachment issues. It's hard being aware of my own reactions when experiencing them despite knowing I need to be curious, or need to keep practising more awareness in the moment. Not sure what I'm seeking, are other mothers experiencing this?