Let her cook: why is it when a husband or boyfriend is toxic (verbally, emotionally, physically) to their partner we say “girl run/ divorce”. But when a parent is like this people say “it’s ur mom. U only get one mom. Forgive her”

I cut off my mom for a while, we didn’t speak for almost a whole year, she can be very toxic and I really needed that space for my mental health. I definitely received some backlash like “but that’s your mom” “you only get one mom” “you’ll regret it if she suddenly dies” etc but it was the right choice for me, even now I have to really limit contact for our relationship to be healthy. It took me a long time to mourn the bond that I’ve always wanted with my mom and come to terms with the fact that it would just never happen and she is who she is and I have to accept that. I think people who don’t get it just never think about the fact that most of us who do go low contact or no contact do not want this, it’s like a last resort 😕

As someone who has cut off their mother, father and an aunt at different points in life. I don’t think people tend to believe that every elder deserves respect without giving it and that’s what’s wrong. Blindly following people and letting people do whatever. When I cut my mom off my family was like but that’s your mom or whatever but no one told her she should try to fight me in Sam’s club in front of my 3 month old. I was just wrong for setting the boundary. I think more people should cut off family members that bring them no peace. They aren’t owed access to your life if they are terrible people Whenever my family would say that I would be like okay so if I told you a friend did that what advice would you give me? And they usually shut up and change the subject. Parents aren’t the exception because they gave you life, clothed you, feed you. That is the bare minimum

@Autumn omg the regret it if she dies. Like will i? That women was my first bully, called me stupid, all kinds of bitches and idiots. Told me I wouldn’t make it when she got made at me dropping me off to college. And we ain’t even talking about the physical stuff.

I got adopted but was still in contact with my toxic father and had to cut that off. I was happy with my decision as my mental health got MUCH better. But when he died it ate me up. I’ve moved past that and forgave myself but there’s pros and cons to cutting off family so close and it depends on the personal situation. Also family isn’t always blood. I’ve turned my back on my blood “family” but they aren’t really my family. My adoptive family as well, I’ve cut off some aunts. Give me respect and I’ll respect you. Simple.

I said I agree but here’s my take on it: forgiveness does not mean you have to continue to allow them to hurt you. I think it’s important to forgive people, not for them, but for your own wellbeing. However, it’s also important to set and maintain boundaries. My mom is an abusive narcissist and I’ve forgiven her for a lot of things that happened during my childhood, but even so, I don’t talk to her and she doesn’t see my daughter. Not because I hate her or hold a grudge but because even though I forgive her, her behavior isn’t changed. I hope that makes sense to someone 😅

I'm currently no-contact with my mother and nobody that knows her has asked me why 😂. I had a couple of family members congratulate me for doing it, because they also knew it was the best choice for my mental health and to protect my daughter from her toxicity also. We hope that one day she'll work on healing herself and growing as a person, but until that happens all I can do is grieve the loss of the relationship I thought we had and focus on showing myself and my daughter the love and acceptance that my mother wasn't capable of.

I think that the healthiest thing is to create distance from whomever is toxic. Stick to boundaries. Parabtsbare difficult in the situation but we are called to honor them no matter what so when they need us we must always act but there’s no need to tolerate unnecessary abuse.

I’ve cut off my pathetic excuse of a Mother..one of the best choices I’ve made for my own sanity and wellbeing and for the sake of my precious daughter. We don’t need that shit in our lives!

i am a firm believer in related≠family. family respects you, listens to you, and loves you for who you are, and lifts you up and supports you instead of putting u down. every single strong relationship has hardships to test the bond, but if u feel its more harm than good for long enough... u can assume what im gonna say next