Difficult baby

I can’t help always trying to find a solution to things it’s just my personality but I’m really struggling because I looked up what is a difficult baby and the definition was her to a T. Extreme reactions, doesn’t adapt to new things well, cries often and overall mood is negative. It’s absolutely exhausting. It’s just not what I envisaged and I get a lot of guilt thinking it. I keep clutching at straws either blaming my husband or thinking obviously there’s something wrong with her. I always try to myself ur not alone but the more mums I talk to I get a mixed reaction - some makes me feel better some makes me feel worse. There is clearly nothing i can do - it’s just her. I don’t get annoyed anymore but I am tired. It makes me feel like I don’t even want to be on maternity anymore. Everyone says it gets better and it’s true it slowly does get better as with each week she seems happier but feeling robbed of the joy of having my first baby. I know that sounds so horrible…there is good times it just feels lonely sometimes being a FTM

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I know it's easy to say but try not to feel too guilty about feeling this way. A new baby and being a FTM is so hard as it is, but also having a difficult baby is tough. At 3 months with my first I was no way having another but things improved loads and definitely by 6 months I was really enjoying it and changed my mind. Obviously I don't have a crystal ball but I just know the first 3-6 months are really challenging with not too much reward from your baby I hope things improve more and more in the next couple of months for you.

I imagine this is a very common feeling so you’re deffo not alone. Everyone does say it’s a phase and I’m sure it is but in the moment it feels like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. If I think back to my son as a newborn he’s totally different now though, much better to be around. I just start thinking about what life will be like when he’s 3 or 5 or in high school and I realise how short this time is in the grand scheme of things. It really is a phase! I’m sure things will improve soon x

How old is your baby? Some babies are just different that way. Some things to rule out- silent reflux/ GERD isn’t always noticeable and can make babies miserable. Same with colic- sometimes you’re just not sure. This is my third time around and there was colic and oh my! I wasn’t always sure he had wind? He wasn’t always giving me the cues he had wind. I’m on another mum’s group and some have taken their baby to the osteopath for adjustments and said it’s made a big difference to their mood. As long as you’re responding to their needs as best as you can you have no reason to feel guilty but you probably will because as mums that’s what we do.

My first baby was like this and I felt exactly what you have explained. She just hated being a baby and was so unhappy with life and I felt so robbed of the experience I thought it was going to be. I also considered going back to work at 6 months because I was so exhausted and unhappy. There’s a Facebook group called ‘the fussy baby site support group’ which I found very validating because unless you’ve had a baby like that, I don’t think you can really understand what it’s like. It’s hard when people say ‘it gets better’, because that doesn’t help when you’re in the thick of it. But it really does. I have a very happy and healthy 3 year old now. Things got much better when she became mobile.

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