Need to vent

I’ve been struggling so much lately, and I don’t even know where to start. For the past 3-4 months, I’ve been spotting almost every day, and the cramping makes it unbearable at times. I’m almost 2 years postpartum, haven’t breastfed in over a year, so I don’t understand why this is still happening. On top of that, things with my husband feel so heavy. Every outing turns into a fight, and we’re barely being intimate anymore. He gets angry so quickly, lets it out, and then he’s calm again—but I’m left feeling awful, holding onto it, and having panic attacks. He says I’m the one picking the arguments, that I’m too argumentative, but I don’t see it that way. I’ve also been struggling with my body. I’ve never been on the lighter side—size 16 before having my baby, size 20 after—and postpartum hasn’t been kind to me. I had a c-section, and my lower belly still has that “post c-section” look I can’t seem to shake. But I started keto this summer, and I’ve worked so hard that I’ve already lost so much weight and made it back to a size 16. The other day, I went to buy jeans, and I found a pair I loved. I was so excited to show my husband, but when I did, he just looked at me, almost disgusted, and said they were too tight because you could see the lower part of my stomach. That crushed me. I’ve come so far, but moments like that make me feel like nothing I do is good enough. I feel so alone, so misunderstood, and completely drained. It’s like I’m carrying too much at once, and I don’t know how to put it down. I just needed to get this out because holding it in feels impossible.