Is this normal
Show your support
So sorry to hear you’re going through this, it sounds really tough. I would speak to your husband about how you feel, and also it’s ok to talk to your friends. That’s what friends are for! Grieving is complex and takes time so make sure you allow yourself to really go through it, otherwise you’ll remain stuck in a sort of limbo. Then when you’re feeling better you can focus on creating a new circle - your little family, new friends who become part of your regular life and support network. You’ve got this, but remember sometimes it’s ok to ask for help and support ❤️
I am going through the same, my mum put me and my baby into an emergency situation during my labour, and I had to go to emergency c section which I was not ready for. She has turned mine and my husband’s family against us. We are fighting so hard to not to go into postpartum depression. We have a naming ceremony which is a thingy that is done in our culture, post which I will be cutting off everyone for good because this is happening for the second time. She is also a narcissist. So, one thing I learnt was you cannot change the destiny, if something is to happen, it will happen, no matter how much you try, how long you try, how many times you try. The best advice I got and that i would like to pass it to you is the acceptance. Groups have been made. Sooner you accept it sooner you will get over this.
@Sneha may I ask what your mum did to turn your labour into an emergency situation? Also I think people should normalise cutting off toxic people in their lives, you feel so much healthier for it.
I just want to send you a big hug .. it’s okay to feel how you feel - try to take the pressure off yourself if you can It’s a process to work through which takes time .. My mum is narcissistic and my dad isn’t much better although not narcissistic but very selfish . When my daughter was 10 months I had a complete break from birth family for 2 years .. in that time I focused on myself , self discovery , building my confidence, finding purpose etc finding myself inner work and boundaries … because I am now able to set boundaries which were alien to me when younger this protects me so yes in small doses I can see my mum if I want too now but that is a choice… you don’t have to see anyone , it just doesn’t have the same effects on me anymore so I can see her in small doses because I am more confident and can protect myself with boundaries because of prioritising myself and changing me . So what I’m trying to say is focus on you and in time it won’t effect you the same x
My partner cut off a majority of his family for similar reasons, also including his mum, that was almost 5 months ago. Our LO will be 5 months on 2/01 and she’s seen him once for around 2 hours. Your feelings are justified, during the holidays is all about family so even when you know you’re not wrong, you are overwhelmed with emotions and guilt. But I think, speaking to your mum group could help, you never know how supportive they can be. I also think journaling could really help you, if you write down your feelings and not bottle them up. And based on my partner Yes it does get better, he’s no longer anxious as he always found to keep the peace he was apologising despite not being in the wrong. He said mentally he’s in a better place, and he loves that he has our LO to show genuine love to But I’m happy to offer my thoughts and opinion anytime, so message if you like, we are all on here for the same reasons and to support each other.