Those who have Narc mums… if you have one please comment what you’d do.

So I’ve made an effort with my lg to see her over the past few months and then we had a massive fallout (my side is that I told her she constantly chipped at my confidence and she needed to stop because she always made me feel like shit) She then she belittled me, told me she never wanted to see me again, told me I was worthless and I shouldn’t have any friends. A huge personal attack which has had a detrimental affect on my mental health for many years which happens often, afterwards it’s like she never even says it, it’s all just something that comes out of her mouth and then she’s like ‘right what’s for tea?!’ It’s so horrible! It’s f’d up. Never any apology. So I’ve spent this Christmas processing some really dark thoughts on myself and I’ve had two messages from her just saying enjoy Christmas with your family and she has my daughter’s presents to give to her. I’ve not replied. I’m heartbroken yet again. What to do? It’s that guilt they always make you feel!!

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Run in the other direction. Or set hard boundaries and see how it goes first. It really is a lost cause and I say that with experience and care for your situation. Nothing will change apart from you choosing to prioritise yourself xx

Remember the guilt you feel is manipulation that has conditioned you over many years. It’s a form of control. I say direct all your efforts in your own healing Xx

Firstly just know that none of this is ever your fault and to focus on you and your child over everything else those are your main priorities everything/everyone will come and go I’m currently going through something similar yet I’m in my last 2 months of pregnancy they will never change or apologise and the guilt is definitely her trying to manipulate you I have been dealing with the same stuff all my life and only now I’m protecting myself and my peace as well as my child when he’s here hope it all works out for you hun xx

I think mum/daughter relationships can be really tough at times. My mum is an alcoholic, a functioning one but denies any problem. We fell out after her drinking and getting wasted as she looks for an argument. I hate falling out so several months later I offered an olive branch and told her I’d like a relationship but don’t want her to drink around me….she told me I was controlling and didn’t want to know!! We now haven’t spoke for 7 years. She’s had nothing to do with my girls either. I know it’s a sad situation but my mental well being has drastically improved and I’ve no intention of letting her back in my life (not that that is what she wants!) Anyway my point is if someone doesn’t take responsibility for their actions, sometimes you have no option but to pull away. Good luck xx

Do you all feel resentment, guilt and ashamed? Do you often question whether it is all in your head? Is this me trying to justify what she’s done? I have therapy coming up any way. I know of no one around me who says their mum has treated them this way. Outbursts like that arnt normal are they? Feeling triggered every time they say something surely this means I’m feeling flight and anxious? My dad left her years ago and he is also very soft and empathetic so I’m pretty sure this is what I’ve now been going through for years on end.

Definitely have had times where I thought it was all in my head but that’s how they gaslight and manipulate you into thinking that way and that you should feel guilty for them when you really shouldn’t if you want to talk more about it feel free to send me a message as I get it completely but she knows exactly what’s she’s doing and maybe it’s even unresolved trauma on her part also she may of had someone do the same to her and she’s just following a toxic cycle it can happen but there’s still no excuse

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