Struggling with guilt
Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out because I’ve been struggling with my emotions and would really appreciate some advice or support. My husband and I decided to separate as his parents mentally distressed me since I had my baby which took a toll on me.
I also had a traumatic birth experience, followed by an awful recovery, and sometimes feel like I’m still not fully healed, both physically and emotionally. My baby was seriously colic, which made things even more challenging and set me back a lot.
Because of all the stress and difficulties, I feel like I missed out on so much during my baby’s first year. I didn’t take him on as many walks as I wanted, didn’t arrange a newborn photo shoot, missed baby sensory classes, didn’t get to meet new mums, or even enjoy simple things like shopping trips with him. We didn’t have any getaways or holidays either, which is something I always imagined doing during this precious time.
Now, looking back, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. I want to know if anyone else has experienced something similar and how you moved forward. Is there anything I can do now to make up for this missed time? I just want to create happy memories with my baby moving forward, but it’s hard to shake the regret.
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Agree with what Priscilla said. Also, your baby's best memories will be feeling loved by his mother. Everything else is secondary. You're doing great mama
I also experienced a traumatic birth and an awful recovery that didn’t allow me to do any of the things I wanted to do with my son. He’s now 13 months old and I’m starting to feel stronger and can do more with him. The guilt still comes and goes, but remember that your baby is healthy and we get to make so many more memories that we will cherish even more now because of our circumstances. You’re doing an amazing job. The only way to make up for missed time is to stop worrying about missed time and just love that baby with all your might 🫶🏼
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Awhh I’m sure you did more than you are giving yourself credit for.. when I’m feeling guilt about those sort of things I just recall the things I did get to do, like bath times, teaching moments and what milestone I got to see, and I look forward to what I can do to kind of make up for what I missed , like the newborn photo shoot I didn’t get to do because of postpartum hardship so I did a one year birthday smash cake photo shoot. You’re doing a good job, and you having mom guilt is a good sign you’re a good momma and want what’s best for your kiddo. You have to make sure your cup is full before you can pour from it.