Setting boundaries with soon to be grandparents
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The fact that she wants to buy a travel cot & pram, which means that she wants to help you out as much as she can, is a good thing. Obviously, it is up to you how much she looks after your child, but at the same time, I would just let her do it & at least she has things ready for when you are ready for her to look after your little one for you.
Just let them get excited and buy what they want for their house. You never know how you will feel after baby is born and when you might be ready for a break… but don’t shoot the help down now… you might think you never want baby to leave you now… but you might also want a break after a few weeks/ months… also handy when you go back to work etc… these things will last/ be used for years!
I think this is a good thing. Both my parents and in laws had purchased these things for my kids as well. I guess it’s a different story if you are not wanting help.
I was really confused - thought she was just trying to be helpful buying things for you but are you saying she wants to buy those things to have at her house? If so I’d probably tell her what you’re planning for sleeping (e.g. we are going to cosleep so I don’t think we need a travel cot for when we stay at yours), and in terms of the pram well what’s the point in her having one? If you’re going to leave baby with her at all then you can also leave baby’s pram? Or you can tell her that you’re making a list of all the things you want and you can share it with her if she wants to buy anything for you you prefer she gets it from the list so you don’t end up with duplicates or things you wouldn’t use?
I would be annoyed if my MIL bought either of those things for her place because it’s just a waste of her money I won’t be leaving the baby at her house (she can look after the baby at our place because hers is a death trap lol)
It's always handy to have these things at grandparents houses! My parents have a pram and travel, they come in super handy!
Sometimes these things are handy for use even once in a blue moon, so for example, you can all stay the night at theirs or when you pop over and they need a nap and not have to take a travel cot with you. But in terms of talking to her, and everyone else, is to set out your intentions, not ask what they would like or expect. This goes for everything. We did this for the birth for example and said, “we don’t know when we want first visits, so after the birth once we are settled and home we will contact you and let you know we are ready and this will probably be some time in the first 2 weeks. Also due to the increase risk of RSV, please don’t kiss the baby and let us know before hand if you feel unwell so we can reschedule”. X