Feeling guilty

The only answer I can think of is to try and find a new perspective. You’re giving your little girl one of life’s greatest gifts - a sibling. She won’t stop being your baby, but this is a beautiful opportunity for her to grow, learn and build new relationships. Her world is about to expand in a super cool way. Also, with any challenges she might face, it gives her a chance to build resilience.

No advice but feeling the exact same way! My girl just turned 18 months, we’ve never both left her for a night and so anxious about hospital/birth for that reason. Doing a trial night away next Friday and the thought makes me feel sick. She is a mummy’s girl and despite knowing I will do my best, the guilt I feel at times is so tough. I don’t want her to feel things have changed, even though they ultimately will. She knows there is a baby in my belly and trying to prepare her but at only 18 months she doesn’t really know. And then I have it the other way too, feel guilty I’ve not focused on this pregnancy/baby in the same way I did the first time. Ultimately have to give yourself some grace because it is different this time and will be more of a juggle. The thing that helps me most is thinking of all the positives and special times to come even if that isn’t straight away.

I’m feeling the same, the mum guilt is a lot 🙃 but I suppose as someone said above, we are giving them a sibling so maybe we need to look at it like that instead of the negatives xx

Also thinking of all the ways I can prepare, introduce the baby and juggle both so she doesn’t feel replaced. It doesn’t help the guilt but some advice I’ve picked up… -Introduce baby neutrally so in a basket, not in mums arms. Reconnect with first born first and then do introductions. -Don’t have any expectation or force anything during first meet, hard when you see so many sweet videos but they may not be interested straight away and take time to warm to -Sometimes let the toddler & their needs come first if the baby is safe & ok. Or even just make them feel like that is happening. So say out loud, baby’s name you’ll have to wait a helping or doing this with toddlers name. Rather than the toddler always hearing to wait for baby. -Let the toddler help & be involved as much as they want. -Lots of books and doll practice etc. Not sure if that helps or you may already of heard these. It certainly doesn’t take away the guilt but helps me to think about how I’ll try to manage.

@Lauren 100% this it’s one or the other my little girl is just gone two about having a trail away from us next week but I’m so nervous I had really bad postpartum ocd with her and haven’t long started letting other people even help with her. She is very excited for the baby to be here but it’s such a big change I feel like we don’t know know how it’s going to go till they are here so like you said looking on the positive

@Kylie this is what I’m trying to do, she’s very excited to meet him now she keeps asking for him to come out my tummy so focusing on that x

@Linda thank you, this is such a good response I do need to try and focus on the positives more x

@Lauren my partner and I have just been talking of all these. One we have found seems to have helped is using her baby doll to ‘practice’ she loves her dolly and I’ve been telling her oh we will have to do this with little brother too will you help when he’s here and she’s been getting excited to help mummy with little brother