Does Postpartum depression always show in the same ways?

I'm possibly overtaking this but things aren't getting better so I figured I need some advice. In my daughters baby checks they always ask how I'm feeling in myself and I've said fine although I'm not sure if I should have. Me and my husband had a big argument the day our daughter turned 3 weeks and I've been blaming that but am now struggling to understand if I have problems in my marriage or Postpartum depression. I'm not suffering from the obvious things of struggling to bond with my baby and not wanting to go out. I feel I'm the opposite, I love my children and want to do the best for them. I'm signing up for everything I can and trying to get out as much as possible but recently I've been wondering if I'm doing so much to try and make up for the fact that I'm always so worried I'm letting them down and not doing enough. My toddler is amazing but I had a point where I got irritated with her more than she deserved and apologised and have really made the effort not to do that again but now the irritation has passed onto my husband. I don't know if it's problems with our marriage or me just taking my tiredness and frustration out on him. My emotions feel all over the place and although I'm tired a lot and feeling really drained in the day I can't always sleep when given the chance. I don't know why I'm posting this, particularly just to get it out and wondering if anyone else has similar that could give any advice. Should I try and get help, or is it just time? My baby is 4 months now.

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I'm not saying it is postpartum depression as I obviously can't diagnose that but from my own experience I would suggest it could be and to seek support from the GP or health visitor or similar. I was very much the same with my first, I was always out and about, always doing groups, pushing myself out of my comfort zone to make sure he got everything he could, however deep down I wasn't coping and being out and doing all that just pushed my thoughts back and gave me something else to focus on. It's taken another baby and completely different experience for me to feel happy with what I did for both children and content that I'm enough for them and worthy of their love (never felt that way before). Even if you're not sure it's best to speak with someone about your concerns. The sooner it's highlighted the more support that can be offered x

@Amy thanks for the advice. I might try calling the health visitor. Last time they asked me I think I'd have said I don't know if my other daughter wasn't with me.

You sound very similar to me. I have always wondered if I have PPD, but obviously, it's taken a while to kick in, as I don't feel like I had it when my little boy was a baby, but since he turned 2 and a half, I feel exactly the same as you.

Yea it's never ideal when you have other kids around as you can't really speak openly.

I don't think it sounds like ppd, it sounds like hormones and burnout and exhaustion. Think of practical ways hubby can support you. Does he do toddler bedtime each night? Does he get up if toddler wakes in the night?

Are you getting enough time to yourself to do the things you need to decompress and recharge? Never a bad idea to reach out, especially to a therapist (whether it's ppd or not, they're always pretty helpful). But just solely based off of your post, sounds like you're really tired and burnt out🫶🏾. Burnout and stress can definitely lead to ppd, or other disorders, if it's not managed well.

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