Am i wrong for not wanting postpartum advice from MIL?
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I would have more concern why my partner was feeling that way and was telling his mum that rather than focusing on the cow bags comments :( MIL are just evil!
No you aren’t wrong, because how could she be giving you advice when she wasn’t even on your side after “experiencing “ it herself. Women naturally change during and after pregnancy. She should have used that to get her son to understand what you are going through. Instead of tearing you down. I’m sure you wouldn’t take your child’s father away if you were to separate but now she has put him on guard with you as if you would be wrong in the middle of postpartum depression. I’ll be praying for you. Be strong mama, you got this and you are even stronger when you cry. Communication is key, try to express your feelings and keep grandma at a distance.
@Stephanie trust me girl. I was reqdy to leave him because how could you!! I was 5 weeks postpartum. I felt so betrayed. He couldn’t deal with my postpartum rage….. and what broke my heart more was that he went to his mom! Out of all people, his mother that does not like me ! 💔
Sounds like a mamas boy, only those type of women have problems with their son’s significant other. She doesn’t know her place. He was too weak to confront you himself so he cried to Mommy.
:( the last thing you needed at that time. I’m so sorry! I’ve thankfully managed to just avoid Christmas seeing my MIL I ignore the random pointless texts. And already dropping hints to husband I don’t want her turning up same day/ day after.. or even first two weeks after birth …nor popping in at all out the blue when on mat leave. stand your ground! Don’t let her come between you two. You are both a team now - you have both together brought life into this world and you must stand to protect it. Xx hope he soon sees that
This has broken my heart to read 😭 At the exact time when you need people to rally round and support, you're having to deal with this shit. Unbelievable. Stay strong. And no, why on earth would you heed any advice or hold a conversation with her now??! Does she know that you've seen those messages?
I just expected most support from her given that she went through postpartum bad. She couldn’t take care of her daughter for the first 7 years of her life….. i don’t think people realize how hard it is dealing with a momma’s boy. You feel like you are competing with another woman. His messages also consisted of me never coming before his mom and his sister. I don’t know how I stayed after seeing all of that.
She doesn’t know i went through the messages but i plan on being very open about it and telling her why i don’t want her advice.
OK, that's another level. To outright say that he would never put you before his mother or sister is horrendous. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this at such a vulnerable time. Really not cool at all
@Ciara 100% agree
Hey I've experienced something similar. My MIL has 2 sons, and has caused problems in my marriage and in her other son's marriage. Both sons married up, both are intelligent and both have managed good marriaged despite her best efforts. MIL has actively tried to destroy both marriages and now she's sad she doesn't have better relationships, which makes me feel terrible for her and leads to me trying to accommodate her. Sometimes I wish I hadn't met my husband because his mother is such a huge problem. I moved countries to be with him, and now I have 0 support here.
Pllease can you update us on how it goes if you do tell her why?
Nobody wants advice from their MIL, but this lady can get all the way out. I would 100% tell her I saw those messages and that she is no longer welcome in my home. She can have her son back, too, if he won't get on board. I'm sorry that's all around terrible. 💔
@Stephanie hi ! Sure. I can come back to this post once i find the courage to tell her
Hell no. We don’t take advice from frenemies.