Girl mums, how are you dealing with your daughter?

Hey.. I honestly feel you. I’ve been saying to my friends and family over the last few weeks it’s been like living with a grumpy, rude teenager. I am thinking, hoping and praying it is just a phase 😂 I try to have fun with her when I can but it can switch in a matter of minutes if things don’t go her way 🙈🙈 sometimes I just let her get it all out (throwing things, grunting, stamping whatever she is doing to release the frustration) and when she is ready she usually cleans up whatever storm she has created and apologises 🥺 Don’t get me wrong it is incredibly frustrating for me and have to try super hard not to loose my cool but shouting just leads to us both upset. Just hang in there mumma. It’s def hard with another little one too but maybe when both our girls start school they will mellow out a bit until they are actual teenagers 🤞🏽❤️ x

Thanks so much for messaging. Sometimes I just don’t know how to parent mine. Like for example, tonight she was stalling going to bed. She sat on the toilet and said she needed a pee which is fine but 2 minutes later I told her to get into bed and she said it still isn’t coming out. She was obviously stalling because it doesn’t take that long to pee and she said she didn’t need a poop. So I said get off the toilet or I’m not reading you a story tonight. Threats usually work straight away but tonight she said “well we won’t have a story tonight then” and remained on the toilet. How am I supposed to deal with this? I can hardly forcefully yank her off the toilet and throw her into bed as I feel like that’s just abuse. So instead of screaming or hitting something, in my absolute anger and frustration I slammed the door and she ended up screaming the house down in response to that. I just don’t feel emotionally equipped to handle her emotions :(

Also, mine started school in September (it’s a proper nursery attached to a school that does full days 5 days a week) and if anything her attitude has worsened since this. Nursery is an absolute blessing now, I breathe a sigh of relief that I don’t have to deal with her for the whole day x

Perhaps you could speak to your GP to see if they can offer any advice or perhaps medication to help calm you down. Your daughter sounds like a perfectly normal 3 year old, pushing the boundaries and this can be difficult to deal with. I hope things improve.

She may playing up as she wants to form more of a connection with you ? It’s interesting as I enjoy being round women ( went to girls school, all girls dorm at uni etc ) and I have two girls - My dream! Saying that, she has defiantly stalled at bedtime like you say & totally understand your frustration, it’s annoying! But I don’t think the gender has much to do with it. I think that’s your personal issues as an adult and she potentially triggers you ?

You could very well be right there Naomi. I realise it’s actually my issue more than her. Everyone comments that she is usually a very behaved little girl. So it must be how I react to her. I generally let my husband take over when it comes to her because he has endless patience with her and that’s what she needs. I’ve only ever had bad experiences with girls, my mum has let me down a lot, I had a horrible bully at school for 10 years who is a girl etc. today I spent the evening connecting with her after school and left my son with my husband. Bed time was much easier as a result!

Also, I googled my problem and it turns out mums seem to have problems like this with their sons more than daughters which is interesting. I don’t have ppd but it seems I do have anger issues. I got therapy for it before which worked for a while but it’s £100 a session and I don’t have insurance so how is anyone meant to get mental help these days

Totally understand. I don’t think many talk about the triggers children can bring with our own trauma. I guess it’s our job to kind of work it out, so we don’t pass it down and continue the cycle. You mentioned you was let down by your mum and she has now left you with defaulty toolbox essentially to handle female relationships. You sound like an amazing mum to me as you can acknowledge this. £100 a session seems excessive! Not sure if you like to read but a popular book is ‘The book you wish your parents had read’ that was quite good. So glad you had a better evening. Be easy on yourself, we are all just winging it 🫶

Thanks so much Naomi, I appreciate this message more than you could ever know. I needed to hear this ❤️

Yes I have a 3 year old. Stomps around like Kevin from the film Kevin and Perry go large! She even stormed out the room once and said "you are so unfair!!". She shouts at me, looses her temper, rolls her eyes, tells me what to do. Nice to know I ain't the only one!