Do you think your husband should be available to you no matter what if it’s regarding your mental health?
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@Mama A I agree with you, I really to stop and just let him breathe. I feel guilty it’s come to this. I’m ashamed to say he’s actually failed 2 attempts of that exam I was referring to and I know I have a hand to play in it, whenever he was occupied with studying I would take him away from it whether that be talking about my feelings, getting into an argument which gave him brain fog after or simply just taking me here or there. I don’t want to lose my husband but I try and look in from the outside and I don’t actually think I’ve benefitted this man in any way yet he’s still here. Not sure how to move forwards from this.
Please feel free to message privately if you wish to. I really think it could help if we have a chat!
I would definitely suggest seeking professional help. While he is your husband and absolutely can be a sounding board it sounds like right now it’s to his detriment. Which isn’t good for either of you. I also have some struggles. I try to journal, it helps me get my thoughts out and sort through them a little before I take them to my husband or therapist when I was seeing one. It’s definitely helped because I’ve been the person people have trauma dumped on and it’s overwhelming. You start to feel like the person doing it doesn’t actually care about you, those friends all we ever talked about was them. So im more aware of not doing it to my husband. When you dump that stuff on people it’s almost like they have to sort through the feelings too. Obviously he loves you and wants to be that person for you but he shouldn’t be the only person. You actually might feel better getting an outside perspective whether that’s a therapist or a friend in a similar boat
He should listen and be there for you, yes. But you can't just offload your problems onto him. That can cause the other person to spiral. You have to deal with your problems on your own, and he should be there to support you with whatever that might be. As a psychology major in her last year of school. You need to seek medical help from a therapist. Someone to offload everything to in a control environment. He is spiraling himself. And that's going to cause more relationship problems. Feel free to message me To answer your question, no, I don't expect my fiance to be there for me 24/7.
Speak to a professional. Yes your husband should be there to listen but if you are bombarding him and it's not effecting him and his life, then you need to look at another option
This is incredibly selfish. Please seek therapy. That’s more than anyone should expect from their spouse. He should be loving and supportive, but ultimately you will have to be the one to take the initiative to heal. He can’t fix you. I hope this doesn’t come across as mean. I’ve been there too. ❤️
Think it’s definitely best to seek outside help as there’s only so much your husband can be expected to handle. It’s important to support and listen to each other but it sounds like this has become extreme. His mental health matters too. I think you should find a therapist and also acknowledge to your husband that you’ve realised the strain this has put on him and are working on it. I think it’s important to take the positive steps but also to acknowledge the impact thats been caused (even though it was unintentional).
Thank you everyone , I’ve only now just now realised how bad this situation is through reading all these comments. I’ve realised that actually he has told me this many times and I never “heard him” and instead would start crying that he doesn’t actually care about me and I’m all alone. I thought he was just saying anything as he would start listening again and speaking on whatever it was I wanted again..I can’t believe I’ve done this to him. FYI- I’ve self referred for a therapist and I’ve also been in touch with my doctor who has spoke to me and offered medication. Thank you all 🩷
That sounds like a great start 🙌🏽 It’s important to reflect and acknowledge when we’ve messed up (we all have, we’re only human) but try not to beat yourself up too much, it’s sounds like you’ve not been in a great place and now you’re taking action to do things differently. Hope this is a positive step for you 🤍
Very proud of you for taking the steps to take care of yourself! Just a word of advice if you start medication it may not seem like it’s helping at first. Be honest with your provider so they can adjust dosage and or meds as a whole.
I think it’s definitely unhealthy to offload everything onto him. Seeking professional help would help you get it off your chest and get advice in return without it impacting your relationship and husband’s mental health too. Of course he should be there to hear you out but I think expecting him to drop everything is too much. Now he has voiced it, you can take steps to make it right which is the main thing.