Feeling like an awful mummy
I completely lost my cool today. My baby was resisting her nap so much, I wouldn't normally push it when she's like that but she'd had a 20 minute nap at 10.30am and I knew she couldn't survive the day on that. She'd gone beyond tired and was in overtired mode where she was so hyper and giggly but as soon as any attempts to get her to sleep are made she gets hysterical and tries to escape from my arms. I had to hold her so tightly to stop her launching herself to the floor that I worried I would hurt her. Eventually I just put her down and went into the corridor to breathe, while she then screamed and screamed because I'd left her. I thought she'd eventually give in but this went on so long I was losing my cool and speaking very angrily to her. I feel like the worst mummy in the world right now for the whole episode, I just handled it all so horribly.
I really don't want to be this angry person but I can't seem to control my frustration in these moments. I am so worried how I will cope when she is having a toddler meltdown if I can't even cope with her resisting a nap. I also worry that it will affect our bond and she will not feel safe with me.
I just feel absolutely awful because it's not the first time and I often feel like I'm not cut out to be a parent. I feel sad for my daughter that she's stuck with me.
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What kate said! You're not a bad mum at all, well done for taking time out to breathe! It's so hard not to get frustrated but it's all part and parcel of life, you can't be perfect! The fact that you're worrying about it shows how much you love your baby x
Totally agree with the above! We all get frustrated like that, you’re definitely not alone. I used to struggle to get my LO to sleep during the day it can be so mentally and physically draining, you’re only human! Don’t doubt yourself, I’m sure you’re a wonderful mother :) it’s just a moment that passes and the fact that you feel so awful about it shows how much you care about your daughter and your devotion to her :)
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Hey, I hope you’re ok ❤️ it sounds like you tried very hard to control your emotions, like going outside to take a few breaths. You’re so aware of how you’re feeling in those moments and reflecting on it so much and that in itself should help when you feel that way in the future! My little boy has terrible daytime sleep - like it’s a good day if he has two half an hour naps in his cot, and it’s rare that happens. I completely relate to the frustration, I get frustrated too - I think we really need the naps, not just to get things done but just to recharge mentally. If he doesn’t nap I am so much less resilient ! Please don’t think you’re a bad mum - your love for your daughter comes across very strongly in your post and we all have days where we struggle to cope.