Why Co-Sleeping? How do you get it on?

I got a bedside bassinet because I feel the same way💯 My baby can be in my room but not in my bed.. I need Mommy/Daddy time.

So cosleeping. There is so much online and TikTok and Instagram you can look at. Cosleeping is good for bonding, safety, regulates baby’s temperature breathing and heart rate. The list goes on and what it does for mum postpartum mentally is very good. If you’re planning on breastfeeding even better. I was very very against cosleeping until I had my baby and was surving off 2 hours sleep a week postpartum. When I finally got home I researched the safe 7 and discovered that it is actually just as safe if not more safe then cot sleeping when done properly and intentionally. I had a csection and it meant I didn’t have to lift her up out of her cot to feed and I could also stay in a sleep state to feed rather than us both having to fully wake up to feed. She would simply wiggle a little and I’d pop the bottle in her mouth. Rather than her having to scream to wake me up to give her a bottle and now she’s awake. It was a complete and total game changer. And honestly so so so worth not having

I cosleep with my son, I was originally very against it, but he caught covid when he was 6 weeks old and I was home all alone. My postpartum anxiety got so bad I was terrified he'd stop breathing in the night so I put him in the bed next to me and kept my hand on his chest to remind myself he was still breathing we both slept so much better i just never went back. Yes I cuddle and have sex less often but it really hasn't interrupted us too much. We have a guest bed so if he's in with us we go to the other room or if he's awake we will put him in the playpen with the monitor on but we didn't start doing that until he was old enough to roll on his own. It worked for us because I am a very still and light sleeper so I wouldn't be likely to roll on him and I wake up a little every time he moves so I'm continuously aware of him next to me.

Sex for a while… also peoples mistake when they find out you co sleep is how do you fuck. My answer is , you only fuck in bed? Don’t be so vanilla 😂 though it will mean your partner will sleep elsewhere while you do this until baby is a certain age. My daughter is 1 and I put her in her own cot the other night she slept all the way through and I cried my eyes out. So what they say about you won’t get baby out of bed is a load of bollocks. I love co sleeping and it is encourage in many cultures … we are the only animal in the animal kingdom that don’t sleep with their young… why? I truly believe it’s a marketing scheme for us to spend so much money on a cot etc etc when you don’t need it. I understand what works for some doesn’t others but I think co sleeping is fantastic and the bond it creates is insane and it’s is literally the best thing you can do postpartum if you are struggling. You don’t need to do it for long either the plan is yours. Do it for a month two months three months

Or like me a year. I love co sleeping on Instagram there is the cosleeping mumma and she is the pro at everything about it and any info

it’s beneficial if you do it safely! however, i personally will be avoiding it as i don’t want baby to get too used to it & refuse to sleep in their own bed when they get a bit older x

Your sex life changes entirely after a baby especially if you're gonna be breastfeeding. Trust that you will be dripping milk all over your partner and that changes the mood hella quick. When i breastfed my second son i had to keep on a bra with nursing pads inside during intimate time because id be leaking everywhere 🤣🤣

It’s hard to understand newborn tired without surviving it lol. Some babies just will not sleep unless held or nursed and you start to do crazy things to get sleep. So I kind of understand why people would want to. It crosses my mind sometimes too when I’m really desperate. But if you are from the USA, cosleeping is not recommended and not safe. But Sometimes you have to make hard choices and do a risk vs benefit analysis.

I really love co sleeping with my son but I wouldn't recommend it for babies under 8 weeks as the smother risk is higher

@Leslie this 😂

@Tabitha I'm 3 months post partum and still not even thinking about sex and don't even want it because I'm so tired lmfao I really commend people who can find the time and energy to engage in physical intimacy after 6 weeks.

Most people do cosleeping because the baby won't sleep any other way. Was for me. Once I taught him how to crawl on tummy feet first backwards off the bed I could stop worrying about him falling off (he still never has fallen off) so I can leave him on his own there for until he first wakes up but this took months of practice. Then we go to the sofa. It's really hard to be honest in terms of intimacy but there's no guarantee you won't be too exhausted for regular intimacy even if baby has their own room from 6-12 mo. Most parents don't manage to be intimate more often than every few months. Postpartum hormones don't tend to make you horny like pregnancy hormones, they're just exhausting! For the first 6 mo my son slept in a bassinet (moses basket) and we had sex maybe 3 times in that time as I had a difficult recovery and next to no sleep thanks to breastfeeding 😅. Then he refused his bigger crib as grew out of bassinet and would only sleep next to me since then

We started when my daughter was 9 months old! I was very against it until she became poorly and I hadn’t slept at all for days, it was only way she would sleep! As much as you dont want it to be true you will not be having sex everyday when you have a baby sorry🤣

Thank you so much for the info all!! So helpful!

Go onto The Lullaby Trust website, it has lots of useful information. I bed shared with my first (now 7) from 4 months and my second (now 2) from birth. They also both have their own beds (have since 1 year old), my 7 year old comes through for cuddles sometimes, which both me and my husband love. We’ve all got plenty of sleep because of bed sharing/co-sleeping. Sex life didn’t stop either (you can do it other places other than your bed!). After my first pregnancy we didn’t have sex until around 12 weeks pp. With my second it was sooner, around 3/4 weeks. Also, there is a chance you might not feel like it anyway. After my first, I didn’t want it at all but slowly got my drive back. After my second, I did and my sex drive was higher than my husband’s. There’s also no cut off, it’s whenever you’re both ready as parent and child to stop.

After a baby, your sex life changes ENTIRELY. Even if you do or do not co sleep. Doesn’t mean it won’t be existent! It just will probably be a bit less especially in the beginning. We co sleep, but we don’t just have intimacy in the bed. I initially never thought I would co sleep, but he slept better that way, and I was going insane on no sleep. It’s a personal decision at the end of the day though . After a baby you and your partner will be tired, it’s a massive life shift b it if you work as a team, it’s possible to get through it especially the newborn phase.

Tbh post partum, I had a c section and I was tired all the freaking time, so I didn’t have the energy to have sex and my husband was also tired

@Tabitha thank you for the advice and the IG info!! I’m with you on the vanilla lol. When I was single I used to order takeout because I used my kitchen counters for something else 😂 The partner I ended up with isn’t vanilla but he’s a bit older than I am and he’s in his bed sex era. Which I don’t mind because I cook now lol. I’ll check out the IG you sent, thanks!

Technically the term is bedsharing... And I started doing that on nights that my son would just take forever to get and stay asleep. We still do that part time nowadays

And he's 18 months old for reference . And no hubby and I don't ..... Get it on that often... But he still rooms shares with us too

It’s just me and baby for the moment so when she was a nb I found it easier to just roll over and she’s right there when I need to feed or change her. When her dad gets home though she’s going in her bed because I don’t trust him. She has no issue sleeping anywhere

@Leslie 😂 this is a good point. This makes me think of that song my milkshake brings all of the boys to the yard, but I don’t think she was talking about breast feeding 😂🤣

A lot of it you’ll learn and adapt along the way haha happy to help that ig is really good

@Leslie took us 5 months lol

@Tabitha with my first kid we didn't have sex for a year. Our second kid like 5 months pp but this guy we haven't had sex since I was about 8 months pregnant lmfao. My pregnancy was also high risk so wr just kinda chilled because of that but who knows when it'll happen again 🤣 I'm also like hungry all the time now so the thought of being intimate while hungry just gets me mad lmfao

For me, cosleeping and breastfeeding went hand in hand. Its also the only way we could get any sleep. I always say it saved my sanity and my relationship with my daughter. Even if you decide not to cosleep, I strongly suggest you look up how to do it safely, and be prepared that there’s a strong possibility you’ll fall asleep with baby at some point. I always said I’d never do it, and ended up falling asleep while feeding my daughter, and dropped her. That’s when I knew I had to change my mind and honestly it’s been the best decision I made.

@Tabitha she’s the co sleeping queen 👸 🙌

I’ve been through it! I wanted to co sleep but every one talked me out of it. Until 9 months, I co slept and our sleep improved on day 1. I wish with all my heart I did it from the beginning. I feel like we missed something special and I’ll never be able to get it back. His newborn cries may have been helped by co sleeping, I’ll never know. It’s actually gut wrenching when I think about it. It’s a personal choice, make the right decision for you. Safe co sleeping is important and completely possible. Having a sex life is also possible. Happycosleeper goes into all of this! She’s the go to lady.

We bedshared from day 4 and I slept very well that same night. We did have the owlet sock as an extra set of eyes when we slept. We were sexual intimate about 3x a week maybe even 4x before pregnancy. That dwindled down a bit during pregnancy and then after birth we did not have sex for at least 6 mths. It was weird but we were also okay with that as we were in survival mode of new parenthood. Baby is almost 2 and we still bedshare but we get creative and have other rooms we can go to!

You’ll have sex less often but it’ll be better. Instead of doing it every day or every other day you’ll probably get down to 1-2 times a week, at least at first, but it’ll become much more passionate and you’ll savor each other more. You also may find that during the first year or so of baby’s life you’re more in the mood during the daytime when baby is napping. Nighttime will belong to your baby for a while and breastfeeding will probably lower your libido because of the hormones involved. Even if it doesn’t, it will probably make you feel like your body doesn’t always belong to you. Especially at night time when you’re very in tune with your baby’s needs and breastfeeding on demand. It’s hard to think of this change before it happens but, in the same way you get aroused when your husband is thoughtful, your husband is going to gain great respect for you over this process and he’ll probably be more aroused when you are relaxed and energized. Even if you don’t cosleep.

Bed-sharing saved my sanity. Every night for the first 3 weeks we either took shifts or we stayed awake and held her as she refused to be put down to sleep. In the end we made the decision that in order for us to function she would sleep in bed with us. She’s now a very good sleeper but still in with us. Sex is not even on my mind atm (9months PP). I was definitely more heightened before baby arrived but since it’s not even at 0 😂 it will all depend on 1. How you feel 2. Your baby and their needs for sleep and 3. If you aren’t absolutely shattered if you have the energy for that.

We didn’t cosleep and our sex life never went into a slump.