Scared to try again

Hey, so sorry for your loss. I do t really have much advice, but I am in the same position (mc in December). I’m scared it will happen again. I’m also older than average mum- 38 so worried about this too. I’m also waiting for my next period so I know dates too. These few weeks just to allow myself to be sad have put me in a better place to try again, but still not quite there yet x

I'm sorry for your loss. It is so hard to grieve when so many others don't understand and you (or at least I) can't articulate it well. Hang in there. I hope you've given yourself some space in the last month to breathe and heal. When you're ready, you'll be ready. There's no real advice here but I wish you the best 💕

@Sarah yeah I’m 39 so I’m worried about that aswell . Sometimes I think aww I’m ready and others days I’m not x

It took me 3 months to get pregnant after my mmc, and even then I wasn’t emotionally ready. I’ve been completely detached from this baby since I found out about him (I’m 33 weeks ish) so honestly if you need more time, take it. I wish I had more time in between my last two pregnancies.

It is scary and there’s no guarantee it will or it won’t happen again unfortunately. It happened to me after my loss I lost another but then went on to get pregnant and stay pregnant to where I am currently which is 34 weeks xx I would try and talk openly to your husband about how it made you feel and how you feel going forward about it. I also wanted to wait until my cycle was back to normal and I’d had a period so I knew that stage was over and knew my dates etc x you definitely need to take your time and do what’s best for you as it’s you who carries the mental load. I will say it is something that you will probably carry with you into your next successful pregnancy so you need to try be as mentally prepared as possible as the worry never stops xx

I am in a very different situation. I have been told I have to wait 6-12 months due to a D&C that went horrendously wrong. Having the decision to try again taken away from me is unbearable and I feel like I have lost control of my life. When finding out about our MMC early Dec we had decided we would try after my first period and now our lives are at a standstill for the foreseeable. Only you two will know when the ‘right’ time is, and who is to say what the right time is. There will be so many factors at play but talking it through together might help you mutually decide. I can imagine it will be hard for your husband to know how you fully feel, I know mine hasn’t really comprehended it all yet x

@Hayley I’m so sorry that’s happened to you. I have a wee girl who’s almost 20 months and would love for her to having a sibling I’m also a carrier of a genetic condition that’s in the family. So I need an extra scan and bloods taken to make sure the baby doesn’t have the condition. So it’s a lot to think about especially for me worrying about that’s aswell as another miscarriage. I know it’s not nice for anyone when you have a miscarriage but we really do feel it more because we are going through it . My husband went off to work while I stayed in the house looking after my wee girl scared to go to the toilet I was a few days before 6 weeks so EPU wouldn’t see me just the usual keep an eye on it so i was constantly looking up google knowing I was probably miscarrying then I had random bleeding on and off for a while after it aswell and he just kept saying aww it’s ok like it wasn’t happening x

You need to put yourself and your needs first in this situation. I’ve had three losses in a row and each one is worse than the last. Take the time you need before you try again. I’m and older mom but I think the time is more important than my age.