Frustrated

Sounds like you’re just burnt out! Is there anyone you could ask for help? Maybe ask someone to have her over night so you could just have a bit of me time and relax? I

@Estera I have so many people around but I feel I never truly have a break- always in debt and the time I do have always feels timed :( She won’t sleep away from me yet so I can’t not have her overnight yet- do you have any tips for daytime? Xx

Have you had anyone have her during the day? We’ve basically just kind of left out big with his nana a fair few times. Just make sure to tell them everything that helps her settle, bring any comforters that she uses. Tell them things she enjoys doing. Also don’t forget that sometimes it’s okay to let your child cry while you take 5! We’re all only human and sometimes it gets too much

I’ve definitely been there.. For me I realised the different contraception they put me on was playing a big part.. only realised when I took a break and then went back on them as before that just assumed it was hormones etc. It’s also got better with talking therapies and the support of my partner helping me get a little more rest / taking on the things I identified most likely to trigger those sorts of episodes. We will always be our own worst critics, try not to beat yourself up and think about what you would say or do if it was your best friend in your position. Sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away and take 5 leaving little one safe somewhere. You may feel like you’re a bad Mum BUT I guarantee you are your little girls world and no one else in this world will know/love her the way you do. If you continue to struggle it could be worth mentioning to your doctor or even workers at local family hub or something like that for support.

You are not a bad mum just a very tired one and it’s okaay not to be okaay sometimes

@Estera only a couple hours of time at best 🫣- I’ll definitely have to try and out more hours- it’s just so hard to leave her :/ thank you lovely xx

@Charlotte I’ll definitely have a look into talking therapy and scheduling with Doctor- I think it’s needed- thank you for the comfort ☺️ it’s honestly so helpful to hear xx

@Emma thank you hunny 🥹xx

I definitely feel the same way! For me I get really frustrated and feel like I can’t do anything without my little boy always being there to “pester” me, when in fact he just needs me, just needs a cuddle. It’s so hard and we definitely don’t give ourselves enough credit for everything we do. A lot of my frustration comes from my birth trauma, I feel like because I don’t have a concrete reasons as to why baby boys heart stopped beating and I had to go for an emergency section, this is where the root of my frustration comes from, maybe there’s a root reason ? I don’t know if it will help much but it’s good to identify triggers and try to rationalise in your head- yes I’m angry right now, why is that ? What can I do to calm down ? Leave baby in safe space and go take a deep breath for 5. I sometimes even put an earphone in just so I don’t hear him scream or shout even for 5 minutes. I guarantee you’re doing amazing tho! We are the hardest on ourselves 💙

Awww you're a brilliant mama! The fact that you're feeling this way shows you care. Motherhood is HARD! I honestly break down nearly everyday. It's overwhelming. I love my babies but I also need space! Recently if he cries I ignore him for a few minutes (I obv know he's safe etc) I do what I need to do and then pick him up for cuddles. Talking helps! I actually told my husband today that everyday we need to spend a few mins talking as I sometimes resent him (even though he's working hard). I think I resent that even though he's working he's kid free. Find someone to talk to as it helps to let it out. One thing I've started is writing in a journal at night time. Almost lile a dairy. I set myself a small weekly goal I want to achieve. Give your baby a huge cuddle n kiss and please remind yourself how amazing you are♥️

There are a few books you can listen to and get some techniques. One of them is how to be a calm parent. It is pretty good

It's OK to walk away and take 5 if they are safe. Also OK to leave Ms Rachel on for the 5 mins! My rule from as soon as I could walk after the c section (even when I could only walk 5 doors down not even round the block( was to get out every day for fresh air rain or shine in the pram or in the baby carrier off we go. Makes such a huge difference as does prioritising that you stay hydrated and fed! After that, meeting other mums at playgroups or playdates helps so much. You're not at home no chores to do just supervise your child it's much less mental effort and you may get a nice conversation with someone who gets it! You're not a bad mum we've all been overwhelmed and overstretched! My partner had to work late today he was gone 14 hours and I had to clean so much mess so many times 😅