Masking

Hi all! Our toddler daughter has been showing signs of masking since starting at a new nursery in September. We notice she will script-speak everything and at the tender age of 3 seems to be hyper-aware of how other people are feeling, constantly asking “happy?”. Her teacher and us have also seen her pretend to laugh. All of it feels a bit heart breaking as we want her to always feel like she can be her true self. I have so many questions like; does this mean we aren’t supporting her enough? Or is she an anxious child? Is masking helping her or hindering? Any advice is very welcome. Side note- she has minimal speech so I can’t just ask her if she’s comfortable/happy etc
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It’s a neurodivergent trait too. I never even knew I was doing it until I was an adult and in therapy. I have ADHD and bipolar. It wasn’t a product of trauma if that’s a concern.

Not trauma necessarily no- more parental concern on the right approach to protecting her mental health. There’s so much positive/negative feedback on masking, it’s knowing how to support her when we are unable to find out what she’s feeling. We practice positive affirmations and work on her self-esteem everyday but is that enough

My daughters head teacher is on the SEND SUPPORT for Surrey board. She also has a SEND podcast with lots of helpful info. I'm sharing 1 of her podcasts but perhaps there's others that may help you. She's been a godsend in helping us with our 3yo. https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/ep-54-your-child-is-not-broken-bitesize-summaries/id1655677210?i=1000640264962

My daughter got diagnosed with autism at the age of 3 she also did all of these, but then she gave eye contact and did things autistic children wouldn’t do and things they did she is 7 and still does speech and language at school which has helped her speech loads as well all positive aslong as they get the right help they need they thrive when it gets left they can struggle later on (I’m not saying it’s autism) I’m just giving my experience with my daughter ask to be referred to the social, and communication team x

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