Idk

I have a friend (let’s call her S) and after I had my first child, she came to visit us and S accidentally hurt my baby (well I mean I hope it was an accident i don’t think it would’ve been on purpose). I was there, I was watching but I didn’t see what happened, I just knew my baby’s sore cry. S basically tried to brush it off as she didn’t know what happened but i could tell by the face she made that she did. I let it go took my baby back made sure she was okay and stuff but because of how S handled it and the fact she didn’t just tell me what happened, I’ve been weird about having her around my baby. I do still see her and we talk everyday on the phone but she doesn’t hold my daughter (now a toddler, this was almost 3 years ago 🙃 but still plays on my mind) and isn’t left alone with her. We’ve been friends since school I kinda feel bad about it but idk if it was an accident why not just say? I felt weird about it but anyway we’re both pregnant now and my partner works away and S has basically been offering to help with my daughter when I have appointments for baby and I’ve been considering it because I’m struggling on my own but idk Ps - I probably have overreacted but I do actually know people that didn’t like babies (in general) and used to pinch them to wake them for fun which I find psychotic but I don’t think that’s what this was but to this day I don’t actually know what happened 🤷‍♀️ so I also can’t say that it isn’t what happened
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Girl I would be the same way but I would have ended that friendship right there bc I don't want anyone around my children that will harm them (not saying anything about you still being friend with her!) But you are handling it the best you see fit i think and you didn't overreact at all!! I would have went bat shit crazy you're a real one for keeping a level head!

@Victoria Aguilar ngl it was more because I was watching and didn’t see what happened like she was holding her fine then my daughter just started screaming so I didn’t know if it was maybe the way she had her arm or something. accidents do happen I was more mad about the fact she lied about it and didn’t tell me what happened

Like if she had just been like oh sorry I think this happened or something it would’ve been different but her face went red when she was telling me she didn’t know what happened

Totally understand and yea i don't do liers either can't stand it especially about little things

I didn't know that used to be a thing 😮 but id be upset as well

Hey. Hmm this is a tricky one but I would of stepped back from the friendship from when that happened as my trust would of been broken, but as it was 3 years ago now it’s a bit awkward to end the friendship now but I would still put my guard up and set boundaries with her, sounds like you have… have you ever spoken about it again? I think if it’s making you feel a way, I think you should. However, if you haven’t had anything to be concerned about since she has been round your baby in the last 3 years. I would try to put it behind me.

I don’t want to say you’re wrong but maybe baby just started screaming out of nowhere. My daughter does this sometimes Where she would start bawling hard for no apparent reason. But honestly why didn’t u cut her off right then and there if u felt like she hurt ur baby ? Holding on to this feeling for so long isn’t good for u. I hope she really didn’t hurt the baby tho cause how can someone be so cruel

@Joy it’s complicated I did put boundaries up she hasn’t been in my house since but she works at my local shop so do still see and speak to her. She has been around her but tbh only really in the shop and has never been alone with her (even before it this happened the first time they met) we havnt spoke about it I just took a big step back we still talk daily over the phone but if we’re going out together my daughter goes with her dad

@Jody my daughter did do this but I could differentiate the cries. I didn’t actually know what happened, I was sitting at the other end of the couch talking to her and didn’t see her do anything which is why I thought it may have been the position of her arm or something. I don’t believe it was intentional but I guess the fact that she lied about it gave me doubts. But now she’s basically offered to sit with my daughter in the car while I’m at my appointments (I’ve been struggling for childcare because her dad works offshore) and that my daughters older and can tell me if something happens I’m kinda considering it but I also feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place because when I think of leaving her with her I think of this.

The good thing is that ur daughter can verbally communicate if something happen but I still understand ur hesitation because why would u want to put her in a place where she can get hurt. I’d say give her a chance if u don’t have any other option and just maybe check in from time to time when you’re at ur appointment

I think now is the best time to speak about it tbh if she’s offering to baby sit you should say I’m not sure , that time the baby started crying and you were acting weird, I’m not sure if I can trust you as you still haven’t told me what happened or what you think happened.

Sometimes babies cry cos they want their mum so that could have happened as well. But if you had a gut feeling she hurt your baby on purpose or accidentally did it and didn’t tell you then it’s a tough one cos it’s just based off feelings and not facts so probably not leaving them alone together which is what you’re doing is the best thing to do 💓

trust your gut, you’ve known her for so long, so there must be a reason why this seemed suspicious to you. Same with your baby crying, a mother can tell between different types of cries, you know your baby best. I wouldn’t risk your baby’s safety and wellbeing for this ‘friend’.

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