Why do parents always cause arguments about you not parenting how they did

I think some people don’t realise that ways and methods move on! My mother in law was telling me how to make baby rice or something and I was like - why don’t I just read the box? Surely from the 30 odd years ago you made it that it’s probably changed, a lot! Was still annoyed with me for pointing out that it wouldn’t be the same. There are so many different parenting techniques, so many variations of things, we don’t all parent the same way as each other in the same generation - let alone from years ago. Research moves on, safety guidelines is one of my bug bears. We used cot bumpers, you were fine. Yeah, but we know better now, so we don’t use them. That’s ok too! Do it your way and try and brush it off as much as you can. Or go the other route and ask whether they liked the parenting advice from their own parents and if it caused tension? Anyway I’ve droned on but I’m totally with you and I’m sorry they are like it x

@Ani exactly that, stuck in their ways. My son has never slept well and I've bene working so hard to get him to bed earlier than 11pm for two years. The past week he just dropped his afternoon nap himself and then has been falling asleep between 6-7pm which is great but then he will ales 1am to play and nothing I do will make him stay asleep or calm or not want to play, so I get up with him 1-4am and then we go back to bed and sleep till 9am

My dad was like you'd never do that with us we wouldn't allow it we'd force you to stay in bed, how dad how would you force me to stay in bed, we would keep you in your room with baby gate and you'd do what you want run aprund play but we wouldn't get up and encourage it. We'd keep putting you back to bed to sleep.

My son is very loud, we don't have a gate, his room isn't ready, we Co sleep, I breast feed still in night, my son would go crazy if he woke and didn't see me and I didn't get up and feed him and help him you know, so many differences and they are all so different

I obviously slept well

At the end of the day, it’s your child/children. No one has a say in it apart from you and your partner if you are still with them. I feel like older generations feel like they know best because it’s what “everyone” did. “You would have never done that in my time, we’d always do this…” I’ve even had my nan say who is nearly 70 when my daughter started climbing over the top, “why don’t you put something over the top of the cot so the child can’t climb out. That’s what my mum did with me” bruh are we in the same time all of a sudden? Major health risk and then it forces a child to not be able to stand up. Absolutely not! I just tell them look, let me raise my kids how I see fit, they are my kids and I will parent them the way I want to. Or shut it down by saying I don’t want to hear this anymore so can we please stop talking about it and have nice day together. If they don’t stop then leave the situation. There is no point in arguing

I challenge anyone who tells me to keep my toddler in bed to come and see for themselves or offer to take her for the night if it’s that easy! Show me how then, please, if you’re the expert come and help 😂 try it!!

@Ani I know right such a childish and stupid thing for my dad to say, considering it was my mum that did everything abit rich 🤣😅 I'd love for him to try it without abusing my son 😝

If my girl Isn’t sleepy she will not stay in her bed, she doesn’t play she just fights the sleep. I’ve put my back out putting her back in and her getting out. It’s just not possible. I am with you. If your parents left you in your room, fine, but likely you weren’t crying, or screaming or distressed. I won’t leave mine to do that and many others also wouldn’t and that’s fine. It’s so frustrating. Also trying to remember this for if I’m lucky enough to become a grandparent how to support and not be annoying 😂

@Ani exactly they think you can train my son at two and I'm like no you can't, he's also not very verbal and doesn't understand, so adds to the issue. It's funny how parents judge all the time, when they have no idea of your child and how much you start to despise them from these kind of things. My parents I can't stand them, I'm just using them, which is fair for the hurt and upset they have caused my life so far 😏